Mak

Dear, R.W Hey, sorry if I no longer wonder about you or your doings! I just felt like my time and presence were no longer needed, so I just faded out and left you to your own doings! I knew if I had left things would have been easier for you, but it would have also led me in the right direction of what I was missing all along, and I wish I could have made it known to you how much I cared about you, but something told me to just forget about it and move along as if it had never happened! I kept my cool and wandered off as if everything we had didn’t exist, and I lost sight of you that everything eventually just came to a standstill and I had to find something else to focus on! I took some time to process the pain and tears only to find myself in a dark room with a phone typing away all the things I felt to the sound of a beat turning the table on myself to make everything I ever felt about you and the things you made me feel into songs and somehow I feel like I should be thanking...

I Still Think of You I know this is crazy to say, knowing the distance between us two is my fault, but somehow I get to thinking about making that distance disappear between us and making my feelings towards you truly known! I could tell by the look in your eyes that the distance wasn’t something you wanted or needed but had to happen if it meant keeping myself from hurting you! I get that hurting you wasn’t something I wanted to do, but something inside of me knew if I had stayed, then it would have led to something that couldn’t have been unsaid or undone, so I chose to walk away, letting you keep that spark in your eyes for someone who’s more deserving of you! I wish I had the time to make you see all the possibilities of what we could have been. Still, the timing just wasn’t on my side, so I let go of the thought of ever being with you, only to find out you were thinking of me the whole time, hoping I’d make a move on you, knowing there was a different side of me only you could tru...

Break the Ice For some reason, I’ve been having this feeling of making it work between us two, but knowing how my life is set up, it would never work. But for some reason, I wanna go ahead and take a chance on you and make it work, knowing that the feelings will be true and real and hopefully last a lifetime. I know I’m just someone you’ve seen in and out of town only to wonder what it is I do and to be honest I don’t do much other than think about how cool it be if you were next to me but for now all I can do it just make my presence known to you and hope you come my way knowing there’s going to something worth talking about. I’m just not in a rush to make my heart and feelings known to you because the thought of losing you makes me wonder what the point of us ever crossing paths was about, and I don’t care to wonder what could’ve been between us two when we can just find out right here, right now. I know this is kind of crazy to say. Still, I’ve taken an interest in you and everythin...

Dead Awake You claimed to love me, but you only did the exact opposite. You wanted to be a part of my life so bad that you forced your way into certain situations just to feel seen, knowing it wouldn’t stop me from doing my own thing. You got too close, thinking you would feel safe around me, only to feel more alone and uncertain of yourself. You tried so hard to stay, but the feeling of being torn down was all you got. You thought I would go easy on you, but instead, I never saw you as anything other than just another user trying to get your way. That's why I steered clear from you, and no matter how hard you tried to go out of your way to look your best, it still didn’t peak my interest. You thought you could replace the person I once cared for, but instead, it made you feel like you were less than nothing, and that’s the crazy part. You should’ve known better than to approach me when all my friends asked you what your deal was, trying to get with me, knowing they knew you’d be l...

Trying to Figure Out the Cause Not sure where to start from other than the thought of knowing we no longer see eye to eye on the things we do and say! You come at me as if I were in the wrong when you were the one who left to find something better, only to return empty-handed! So tell me how this was all my fault when you chose to leave! You asked for some time, only to come back asking why I never reached out! You’ve been m.i.a only to call me as if I had something worth saying! You claimed your heart was pure and true, only to show me a different side of you I never knew! I tried so hard to find the missing pieces, only to get lost in the void of no return! You cut me deep like a blade going through steel! You had every right to just leave me be, but the cuts left scars deeper than I could bear! I tried so hard to forget about them being there, but your presence lingers with every step I take! So tell me what the point of your return was meant to be! You and I both know this i...

You Got It Didn't mean to come into your life and make it a mess. I was just trying to figure out if you were the one for me or if it was all just for show. I wanted to understand the love you talked about, only to find out there was no such thing. You came into my life, giving me false hope, thinking it would make me chase after you, but instead, I gave in only to break you from within. You did your thing while I watched and took notes on how to break your soul in two. You never really saw me for what I truly was, and that was your biggest mistake. You thought your charm and silly jokes would make me follow after you, but instead, I just watched as you made a fool out of yourself, exposing your darkest secrets to the outside world, making you hate yourself. You should've thought twice before entering my life, thinking you had a chance of being someone important to me. You had the wrong one at the right time, only to find out the hard way. You went from being by my side to bein...

I No Longer Feel Anything Towards You I'm pretty sure you asked yourself what you did to have me distance myself from you, and it's simply not anything you did. I just came to terms that I was only allowing you to be in my life because I had unprocessed trauma, and you being around made it easier to trace it back to its roots, and now that it's been solved and understood, your presence was simply no longer needed in my life. So thanks for being there for me when I needed you most, but now that it's been solved, I can finally move on from you and everything that's happened between us two. It wasn't a form of hate removing you; I was simply just finding myself from the darkness I buried myself in, and the only way out was going straight to the source, which was you, and now that I understand your reasoning behind your actions, it felt right to let go and put it behind me. So please don't think I ended up forming some sort of hate towards you because that's...

What's Your Obsession with Me? You come around my way acting as if you don't have an interest, only to double back and bump into me, making me ask are you cool? You look me in the eyes, making me feel some type of way, only to get shut down because I'm not the type to just give my time to anyone. So by all means, can you just watch your step and maybe don't be so clumsy. I'd hate for you to stumble into the wrong person at the wrong time. You can go about your day and still not see me, so for you to find me back to back is kind of weird, knowing my doings aren't planned out, so how exactly are you finding your way to me? You claim to be out, just living your life, but does that life consist of stalking me or just simply being obsessed with someone you can't have? You play the victim all too well, to the point where there's no point in even making your existence known. You wanna cry about this and that every chance you get, only to watch me walk away from...

Tell Me More I heard you wanted me, but we both know that's not true, so tell me what you meant by that. Are you cool? Are you chill? Or are you going crazy knowing that I'll no longer exist to you? Are you okay with what we had being dead to me, or are you trying to reengage our doings so you'd feel whole once again? I could see it in your eyes that the spark you once had died out once you were left alone, knowing my existence was the only thing that could bring your spark back to life. I could tell that my presence was the only thing that was giving you a sense of high, and when I walked out, you stopped feeling it, and for that I'm truly sorry but I told you not to get attached but looks like you forgot about that rule and for that I can't blame you because everyone tends to forget once they see the other side of me. I tried so hard to keep you at arm's reach, but every time we'd lock eyes, the words were nothing more than asking for more, and then you...

Stop Hiding Out I'm not sure if you're aware of my doings or not, but I've been trying to make it known to you by releasing several tracks dedicated to you, hoping you'd understand that the things between us two were never supposed to happen. I tried so hard to keep it cool and act as if it didn't bother me, but deep down inside, the guilt was killing me, so I ended up hiding away with my notes app, trying to map out all the thoughts and feelings that I had for you and make them all into songs. Surprisingly, I didn't realize I would have released so many songs and albums when it came to you. I sorta did it for fun and to just make my feelings known to you and to you only, but something told me to just put it out on all platforms and let the people hear the truth. I know I should have asked and reached out to you before I did it, but I didn't see the point because at the time you blocked me out, and I thought I'd make a song and play it outside your house...

You Didn't have to Show Up in My Dreams I know this is just a random topic and post, but fuck it. I just thought it was kind of unusual for me to have you in my dreams when I haven't even thought about you in so long. I'm not sure if that means you were thinking of me at one point and you found your way back to me through a dream, or not, but could you give me a heads up next time you invade my privacy? It felt like I was supposed to reach out and ask about you, but instead, I'm writing about it all because I know the dream isn't actually something that reality wants for me. I just wish I knew what the purpose of it all was. Was that your way of trying to make your presence known to me because we no longer talk or see one another in real life now, or did you just get lost along the way and wanted to see how I was doing through dream walking? I know this has nothing to do with the real world, but why did you come running back to me, giving me a hug when you chose to ...

Just Do What's Right for You Hey, sorry for coming back to you, but I just gotta ask, is this really what you wanted, or was it all just a joke to see if I'd make a move on ya once again? Are the silent nights with him next to you getting to you, or are they finally making you realize that he's everything you'll never need? Is he loving you like he's supposed to be, or are you asking more from him? Is he really the one you understand, and does he do the same with you? I just gotta know if he's ever let you down or if he lifts you up on the days you're not yourself? I just hope he's everything you've always wanted because if not, then I'll step in and lead you to the things you want. I wish there was a way to understand your doings without him getting in the way. Do the tears you cry call out my name, or are they happy with the thought of him being the reason why you're up crying late at night? There's so much I need to ask before I close ...

Sorry For Fading Out of Sight I wish there were a way to contact you once again to tell you how I've really been instead of just lying to your face, thinking it won't make you worry about my well-being. I never meant to ghost you or leave you out to dry. I just wanted to put a safe distance between you and me so I wouldn't end up hurting you. I thought it was the right thing to do, but sitting back and watching days go by without a text or call from you makes me wonder if you and I are really over, or if you're just waiting for my return. It's so confusing for me to have to sit here and try to process all my doings, thinking that everything I did was all just one big mistake, and I should just push myself further down into the void of no return. You said you'd always be there for me, but it looks like that was all a lie, like every word everyone else ever said to me. I just hope you find your way back to me one day and can see that I'm not the one they told ...