Mak

I No Longer Feel Anything Towards You I'm pretty sure you asked yourself what you did to have me distance myself from you, and it's simply not anything you did. I just came to terms that I was only allowing you to be in my life because I had unprocessed trauma, and you being around made it easier to trace it back to its roots, and now that it's been solved and understood, your presence was simply no longer needed in my life. So thanks for being there for me when I needed you most, but now that it's been solved, I can finally move on from you and everything that's happened between us two. It wasn't a form of hate removing you; I was simply just finding myself from the darkness I buried myself in, and the only way out was going straight to the source, which was you, and now that I understand your reasoning behind your actions, it felt right to let go and put it behind me. So please don't think I ended up forming some sort of hate towards you because that's...

What's Your Obsession with Me? You come around my way acting as if you don't have an interest, only to double back and bump into me, making me ask are you cool? You look me in the eyes, making me feel some type of way, only to get shut down because I'm not the type to just give my time to anyone. So by all means, can you just watch your step and maybe don't be so clumsy. I'd hate for you to stumble into the wrong person at the wrong time. You can go about your day and still not see me, so for you to find me back to back is kind of weird, knowing my doings aren't planned out, so how exactly are you finding your way to me? You claim to be out, just living your life, but does that life consist of stalking me or just simply being obsessed with someone you can't have? You play the victim all too well, to the point where there's no point in even making your existence known. You wanna cry about this and that every chance you get, only to watch me walk away from...

Tell Me More I heard you wanted me, but we both know that's not true, so tell me what you meant by that. Are you cool? Are you chill? Or are you going crazy knowing that I'll no longer exist to you? Are you okay with what we had being dead to me, or are you trying to reengage our doings so you'd feel whole once again? I could see it in your eyes that the spark you once had died out once you were left alone, knowing my existence was the only thing that could bring your spark back to life. I could tell that my presence was the only thing that was giving you a sense of high, and when I walked out, you stopped feeling it, and for that I'm truly sorry but I told you not to get attached but looks like you forgot about that rule and for that I can't blame you because everyone tends to forget once they see the other side of me. I tried so hard to keep you at arm's reach, but every time we'd lock eyes, the words were nothing more than asking for more, and then you...

Stop Hiding Out I'm not sure if you're aware of my doings or not, but I've been trying to make it known to you by releasing several tracks dedicated to you, hoping you'd understand that the things between us two were never supposed to happen. I tried so hard to keep it cool and act as if it didn't bother me, but deep down inside, the guilt was killing me, so I ended up hiding away with my notes app, trying to map out all the thoughts and feelings that I had for you and make them all into songs. Surprisingly, I didn't realize I would have released so many songs and albums when it came to you. I sorta did it for fun and to just make my feelings known to you and to you only, but something told me to just put it out on all platforms and let the people hear the truth. I know I should have asked and reached out to you before I did it, but I didn't see the point because at the time you blocked me out, and I thought I'd make a song and play it outside your house...

You Didn't have to Show Up in My Dreams I know this is just a random topic and post, but fuck it. I just thought it was kind of unusual for me to have you in my dreams when I haven't even thought about you in so long. I'm not sure if that means you were thinking of me at one point and you found your way back to me through a dream, or not, but could you give me a heads up next time you invade my privacy? It felt like I was supposed to reach out and ask about you, but instead, I'm writing about it all because I know the dream isn't actually something that reality wants for me. I just wish I knew what the purpose of it all was. Was that your way of trying to make your presence known to me because we no longer talk or see one another in real life now, or did you just get lost along the way and wanted to see how I was doing through dream walking? I know this has nothing to do with the real world, but why did you come running back to me, giving me a hug when you chose to ...

Just Do What's Right for You Hey, sorry for coming back to you, but I just gotta ask, is this really what you wanted, or was it all just a joke to see if I'd make a move on ya once again? Are the silent nights with him next to you getting to you, or are they finally making you realize that he's everything you'll never need? Is he loving you like he's supposed to be, or are you asking more from him? Is he really the one you understand, and does he do the same with you? I just gotta know if he's ever let you down or if he lifts you up on the days you're not yourself? I just hope he's everything you've always wanted because if not, then I'll step in and lead you to the things you want. I wish there was a way to understand your doings without him getting in the way. Do the tears you cry call out my name, or are they happy with the thought of him being the reason why you're up crying late at night? There's so much I need to ask before I close ...

Sorry For Fading Out of Sight I wish there were a way to contact you once again to tell you how I've really been instead of just lying to your face, thinking it won't make you worry about my well-being. I never meant to ghost you or leave you out to dry. I just wanted to put a safe distance between you and me so I wouldn't end up hurting you. I thought it was the right thing to do, but sitting back and watching days go by without a text or call from you makes me wonder if you and I are really over, or if you're just waiting for my return. It's so confusing for me to have to sit here and try to process all my doings, thinking that everything I did was all just one big mistake, and I should just push myself further down into the void of no return. You said you'd always be there for me, but it looks like that was all a lie, like every word everyone else ever said to me. I just hope you find your way back to me one day and can see that I'm not the one they told ...

I Hate to Say It...But I'm Unsure About It All You called me up late at night, asking me if I could come and see you, thinking nothing of it, hoping I'd say yes, but the reality is that the call was never meant to happen. You only reached out to see if I was still alive, and when I picked up, I could hear the heavy breathing on the other side as if there was more to the call than you let on. So I asked what it was you wanted, only to hear back nothing. I hung up the call, only to hear a knock at my door, asking who it was, only to find out it was you. You asked me if you could come in, knowing I had no idea how you even got to me. You seemed so scared as if you had just seen a ghost. I asked if you were okay, and you just looked at me as if you didn't know who I was. It was so unclear as to what was happening, but I knew you being here in front of me could only mean one thing, and unfortunately, I still didn't have an answer for you. I'm sorry for making you drive o...

Do You Regret Losing Sight of Me If I’m speaking from the heart, then I just need you to know that everything I ever said and did was all for you, and because of that, the love I have for you will always be the same and remain once I’m gone! I wish you could understand me for who I really am and not the one they tell you of! I tried my best to make you understand, but you kept saying I wasn’t who I was! I did all I could to leave myself out of the mix, but you dragged me in just to watch me fall! You had me from the jump just to watch me go! I never meant to make you hate me! I just wanted you to see the better side of me! But your friends and peers said otherwise! You never really took the time to sit back and listen; all you did was just accept it and carry on! You never second-guessed their misjudgment, only to find out from me that it was never really true, which led you to be confused! So please tell me what more you needed me to do other than make you think everything was all a l...

I'm Giving Up On Trying to Make You Happy Hey, don’t mind me, I’m just trying to get these feelings out before they consume me! I know you no longer mean anything to me, but at some point, you kind of meant something to me! I know I never really told you what it was you meant to me, but I’m sorta glad because it’s clear you never really cared about me. You really were just trying to be in my life so you could fuck, but since I kept pushing you out and stopping you from even getting a foot in the door, you clearly became agitated and decided to circle back and do some fuck shit once again!  It’s so weird to me how you operate when you could’ve just found someone else to fuck like I’ve been telling you to, so you could forget about me and just calm your nerves down, but nope, you ended up just getting all pissy and whatnot, making a scene knowing that drama shit ain’t really for my taste! So by all means, you do you, drama queen, and lose sight of me completely because I can’t keep d...

Hey Megan, Sorry For Making You See a Different Side of Me I know this is just me going out of my way to make it up to you, but somehow you came up on the list, making me feel that something was missing between the two of us. I tried my best to leave the thought of it alone and carry on as if everything was fine but then you went and started throwing punches my way making me watch you become someone else and at the time I didn’t understand it all but now that I’m older I understand that it was your way of fighting to keep me in your life even though the punches made it seem like it was a threat. I never minded the abuse because I’ve dealt with it all my life, so I thought it was normal, only to realize, in my adulthood, that the abuse you gave me should’ve never happened, and do I forgive you for the pain you caused? Yes, I do, but I can’t shake the thought of it, and that's what hurts the most. Knowing that our friendship was based on abuse, and us fighting with one another, think...

Hey Annsley, Sorry For Not Telling You Sooner If you’re wondering where I went and what all happened, then you’ve come to the right post when it comes to me and the thought of you. I know my presence didn’t really seem to make much of an impact because I was never trying to force my way into your life. I was hoping that the things I was doing on the sidelines would make you think of me and maybe start a conversation, but instead, I made the first move because I got tired of waiting to call you mine. I guess you could blame that sort of thing on my adhd for being so impulsive and whatnot. I didn’t know what I was signing myself up for when it came to approaching you. I just knew the feelings that I had were telling me to make a move and see what happens. I wanted to be right about the feeling I had that maybe you might have felt the same, but turns out they were opposite. I learned to just watch and care from a distance so none of us would feel the heartbreak. I wanted to make us work a...

Hey Shizzle, If You're Still Out There, Just Give Me a Call I probably don't have a reason to wonder or ask about your doings, knowing it was my decision to let you go, and forgetting all the things we've been through since August 14th 2006. I know I probably outgrew the drama and the games that you came with, so that's probably why I put so much distance between you and me, and it was probably the worst decision I ever made. It's not like you to not find your way back to me but since that call about you needing money once again something in me sparked a flame and I decided to cut all ties leading up to you and it was a pretty rash decision and I know I'll never fully recover from that but I just gotta ask you if it was really worth the time and trouble reaching out to me begging for favor knowing that favor would lead into an over dose? I knew the reasoning behind every call we've ever had since the day you found my house number in a phone book, asking if w...