Mak

Was the Love Ever Real? You reached out once again, only for me to feel a sense of uneasiness, trying to figure out what it was you were doing and needed, only to find out you were just bored and needed something to do, knowing there's nothing really left for me to say to you. I know I'm the root cause of your trauma, so for you to keep coming back as if I'm not makes me spiral out, making me fall as if the wings I have were no longer there. I kept my distance and cool for the time being, but looking at your name makes me wanna cry, knowing all the things that happened between us two as if it was something to steer clear of, making me see all the wrongs there were within myself, making me feel so small as if nothing I do would ever measure up to anyone that comes my way. So I asked myself if this was really worth my time after all the times I ran from the truth, knowing I'll never fully face it head-on. I wish I could explain to you why I am the way that I am, but that ...

Were You Even Real? It feels like the walls are closing in on me with every turn I take, trying to erase the thought of ever knowing you. I keep trying to forgive you for the things you put me through, but somehow I'm trapped between the lines of right and wrong, preventing me from truly being free. I keep finding myself running back to you only to see you with someone new, making me fall to my knees, crying like I have nothing left to lose. I look out in the distance as you're sitting next to them, making me ask why it ever even had to happen. I'm stuck between the lines of letting go and watching it play out. I keep thinking to myself it should be me next to you, but then again, I had you next to me only to realize I'd hurt you down the line, so no, I'm not sure if having that thought is really even worth having. Because how can I tell someone I love them, then go out of my way and hurt them down the line? I couldn't live with myself knowing I lied to them lik...

Why Are We Still Apart? Does the distance between us two make you feel any type of way, or are you okay with it? I know it's been a while since I've seen your face, but is the space and time making you feel any differently towards me, or are you content with the distance between us two? Does the thought of me ever cross your mind? Do the memories ever hit you like a wave, knocking you down? Does the smile on your face ever show when you think of me, or does it just fade away? I just gotta know what it is you do when it comes to me. I just wanted to hold you tight and treat you right, but instead I was way too shy and pulled away, protecting myself from ever hurting you. I know it wasn't the right move, and I should have just taken it slow instead of running away because the thought of hurting you at any given time scared me more than anything. So please let me know if I was to ever treat you right, would your smile reappear, or would you remain null to all my doings?  I kno...

If You Really Wanna Know... You probably don't think of me or feel anything towards me, and I don't expect you to, but here's my truth when it comes to you. I might seem like I've got it all figured out, but the truth is, when it comes to you, it's like trying to solve a puzzle with no right pieces. I keep looking your way, hoping I'll find the answers, but instead I'm just led to more questions in the end, and I know I'm just overthinking the thought of you and me as one, but what if these things I feel are real, making me think holding on is worth the wait. I miss the long nights hearing your laugh. I miss the look you'd give when you're doing something as simple as cooking some food or getting ready for a shower, making me think you need me next to you. The simple pleasures in everything you do and were to me is what I miss the most. I wish you were by my side, but at the same time I don't wanna bother you anymore. I know I'll never ha...

The Truth Is... I Love You I know I haven't really been up to socializing or reaching out, but in my defense, it's because I've been scared of all these feelings that I've been having. I know the things I feel come and go, but they hit heavy like a wave knocking me down, preventing me from getting up, so I just drown in the thought of you. I ask myself what it all means, and if I should pursue you, only to come to terms with that you and I will never work, so I go sink back into the deep end, hoping I'll find something better there. I lose my mind thinking about all the ways you make me feel, knowing I don't feel much when it comes to others, but when it comes to you, I feel everything there is, and I wish I could let you know without you asking me why, and if I could stop. I hide away the things I feel towards you because the thought of losing you hurts me more than anything, so I sit by your side looking out into the sunset, wondering if this will ever last or...

Does It Ever Bother You? Hey, I'm not sure if we'll ever go back to seeing one another, but I just gotta know if it ever bothers you when you think of me, or if I'm just stupid for having the thought of us still being friends again. I know I did some stupid shit in my past. I'm learning to heal from all the trauma and keep my distance from everyone I love and care about so I don't end up hurting them. But when you come along, I do the exact opposite of trying to keep my distance because the distance only makes me want you more, and I know that we'll never cross that line due to everything that's happened. But at some point the feelings overtake my thoughts, and I'm stuck finding myself outside your house, hoping we could talk, only to turn around and walk the other way, leaving my car parked outside your house, making you wonder where I went. I know the thoughts I have of you and I are nothing more than just thoughts, but sometimes I let out the tears th...

Trapped in Time, Thinking About You I wish I never had thought of you but I did and now the thoughts wont go away making me feel trapped in time asking how I even got in this mess. I thought if I had just deleted the apps and account then things would go back to normal but instead I'm stuck seeing your name written on the walls making me look away asking if you're the one for me for real or it's just my mind playing tricks on me. I haven't felt like this in a while and now that it's happening I feel like everything no longer matters and the things I feel are no longer valid so I go numb and mentally drain every thought of you out of my head hoping I'll snap out of it. But instead I'm on the floor crying my eyes out not knowing the outcome that it'll have on me. I tried so hard to avoid the whole thought of you but seeing you once again brought out all the feelings I once knew making me think back to what we once had knowing I want that with you again so ...

Please Don't Ask Me Why If you're reading this, then just know I haven't stopped thinking about you since the EP dropped, and now I'm wondering if you ever even got a chance to listen to it, and I'm stuck wondering what your thoughts are on it. I know I'll never fully have you back in my life, but if the music speaks to you, then just let me know, and I'll continue making more. Otherwise, I'll stop and go back to doing what I do best, which is this, and forgetting about it once it's published. I wish I didn't have to watch you from a distance, making sure you're safe and well when those around seem to think you're doing well, not knowing the tears you let out late at night, wishing I was there next to you. I wish things could have gone right between us two, but you had other things on your mind, and I let you keep those thoughts as I watched you slowly slip away, thinking it was for the best. I know the pain was going to eventually take i...

It Was Always Going to Be You I’ve told myself countless times that I don’t need anyone and they don’t need me, and I've continued with my life! But something has been making me uneasy, and every time I hear your name or think of you, it hits me like a wave, making me break down, wondering what it all means, knowing the wreckage can never be undone! So I close my eyes, letting the thought of you pass by, only to open my eyes seeing you walk by, asking myself if it’s really you or if it’s just my imagination playing tricks on me! You’re the only one I constantly think about, and yet we still don’t speak to each other because we’re both unsure what the future holds for us! I stand still with a confused look on my face. I was watching you pass, thinking bout how perfect you are, only to travel back down memory lane, seeing it can never be me and you! It hurts like hell, but I keep going down it for the sake of it, hoping it would bring me back to reality!  I try so hard to keep you in...

Dear, R.W Hey, sorry if I no longer wonder about you or your doings! I just felt like my time and presence were no longer needed, so I just faded out and left you to your own doings! I knew if I had left things would have been easier for you, but it would have also led me in the right direction of what I was missing all along, and I wish I could have made it known to you how much I cared about you, but something told me to just forget about it and move along as if it had never happened! I kept my cool and wandered off as if everything we had didn’t exist, and I lost sight of you that everything eventually just came to a standstill and I had to find something else to focus on! I took some time to process the pain and tears only to find myself in a dark room with a phone typing away all the things I felt to the sound of a beat turning the table on myself to make everything I ever felt about you and the things you made me feel into songs and somehow I feel like I should be thanking...

I Still Think of You I know this is crazy to say, knowing the distance between us two is my fault, but somehow I get to thinking about making that distance disappear between us and making my feelings towards you truly known! I could tell by the look in your eyes that the distance wasn’t something you wanted or needed but had to happen if it meant keeping myself from hurting you! I get that hurting you wasn’t something I wanted to do, but something inside of me knew if I had stayed, then it would have led to something that couldn’t have been unsaid or undone, so I chose to walk away, letting you keep that spark in your eyes for someone who’s more deserving of you! I wish I had the time to make you see all the possibilities of what we could have been. Still, the timing just wasn’t on my side, so I let go of the thought of ever being with you, only to find out you were thinking of me the whole time, hoping I’d make a move on you, knowing there was a different side of me only you could tru...

Break the Ice For some reason, I’ve been having this feeling of making it work between us two, but knowing how my life is set up, it would never work. But for some reason, I wanna go ahead and take a chance on you and make it work, knowing that the feelings will be true and real and hopefully last a lifetime. I know I’m just someone you’ve seen in and out of town only to wonder what it is I do and to be honest I don’t do much other than think about how cool it be if you were next to me but for now all I can do it just make my presence known to you and hope you come my way knowing there’s going to something worth talking about. I’m just not in a rush to make my heart and feelings known to you because the thought of losing you makes me wonder what the point of us ever crossing paths was about, and I don’t care to wonder what could’ve been between us two when we can just find out right here, right now. I know this is kind of crazy to say. Still, I’ve taken an interest in you and everythin...

Dead Awake You claimed to love me, but you only did the exact opposite. You wanted to be a part of my life so bad that you forced your way into certain situations just to feel seen, knowing it wouldn’t stop me from doing my own thing. You got too close, thinking you would feel safe around me, only to feel more alone and uncertain of yourself. You tried so hard to stay, but the feeling of being torn down was all you got. You thought I would go easy on you, but instead, I never saw you as anything other than just another user trying to get your way. That's why I steered clear from you, and no matter how hard you tried to go out of your way to look your best, it still didn’t peak my interest. You thought you could replace the person I once cared for, but instead, it made you feel like you were less than nothing, and that’s the crazy part. You should’ve known better than to approach me when all my friends asked you what your deal was, trying to get with me, knowing they knew you’d be l...