Blog Post 62

Yes it’s true I did see a girl named Camryn at the mall and I knew it was her cause I could never really forget about her. She’s just one of those girls that I can’t seem to get out of my head even when I try she just keeps coming back into my head. It was hella awkward for me for sure seeing someone that I used to care for and now know nothing about or keep in touch with. But hey it’s whatever I wasn’t really in the mood to talk to anyone anyways.

I’m not going to lie but I did watch her as she walked past me and prayed to God that she didn’t say anything to me because if she had said something to me I would have had lost my cool and told her how I really felt about her at that point and how I felt about her at that point was not a good feeling. So I’m glad she just minded her own business and walked past me.

But the fact that I had seen her was really... Um, how do I put this in the nicest way as possible? It was shocking to me I guess? I don’t know but I know for a fact that all the shit that had happened between us two started to flashback into my brain and that’s what made me leave the mall. I just didn’t need all those flashbacks of middle school starting to come back into my life when I’m about to be done with school and there’s really nothing that I’d wanted to remember about her anyway.

I blocked her out of my life for a reason and that reason is so I didn’t have to go through all this shit over again. That’s why I never answer any questions relating to her or bring her up in anything. I wanna say that the best way to make her non-existent in my life is to just act as if she’s not alive basically. I’m not going to be reliving the past with someone I don’t see a future with or see eye to eye with. I’d rather just keep my shit where it is and keep those that have made me deal with a certain type of pain in the past and those that bring good times to my life in the present.