Blog Post 100
How I Met Her
First off let me just say I met this person back when I was in 8th grade around the end of the year and I never actually explained how I actually met them until now. So enjoy. Also, my body is fucking shaking right now just by thinking how I met this person.
So I'm in the 8th grade and it's literally like a few months away from our summer break and I'm in the classroom chilling minding my own business doing school related shit and I asked the teacher if I could go to the bathroom and she said yeah just don't get into a fight. So I walk out the classroom and head towards the bathroom and I see this girl walking past me and I'm thinking to myself damn shes cute and after that, I didn't really think too much about her and just continued to walk to the bathroom.
So lunch hits and I walk in with the all the other students not really paying attention to shit cause back when I was in middle school I never actually went to lunch. I basically didn't eat lunch when I was in middle school. So lunch to me was not really relevant. So anyways I get in and look around and I see the girl and I'm just like cool. So one of my friends who apparently was in her class texted me asking me to come see them at their table so I went and they said you can sit here and I 'm like okay and didn't really think too much of it.
So I'm sitting minding my own fucking business and I hear this bitch apparently talking shit or whatever about me and I'm just trying to keep my cool for this girl cause I didn't really want her to know that I was violent or whatever. So I let the bitch finish her trash talk or whatever the fuck you wanna call it and I can't remember what I said to her but the rest of the table started making the oh shit type of noises and I left because I didn't care to be around people who made that type of noise. So I walk past the girl and I see her eyes and I'm standing thinking to myself "Shit I Got Feelings For Her" and I walk out the lunch room and back to my classroom door and just sat outside the classroom door until the class came back from lunch.
The next day I was like I'm going to try and get to know this girl. So I asked the teacher if I could go to my friends class that she was in just to see her basically. So she said yeah but just don't fight anyone. So I get my shit leave the class I go into her class and there was an open seat like right next to her so I was like alright this shit cool. I said sup she said hey and I just left it at that and I basically was like checking her out and trying to figure out her vibe and what she likes and enjoys. Within like 20 minutes I found out she plays soccer, volleyball, basketball, and her favorite number was 8 (eight).
So I'm like oh shit I used to play soccer for a while and I asked her if she was on the school soccer team and she said yeah and I'm like oh cool and then I just took a nap, to be honest. So school ends I walk out the school and I see her walking towards the street so I run to catch up to her just and asked if I could walk with her and she said sure cause my friend at that time lived right around the corner so I didn't think too much of and we just walked for a minute or two just talking and those few minutes of us talking I definitely felt something for her.
The next day I bought tickets for the school soccer game and I went and she did well. I didn't really say too much to her at the game but Hey. But after the game ended I went home and put the ticket away with her name on it and the date as to when I went but to this day, I have no fucking idea as to where that ticket went.
So a day or two goes by and I sent her a friend request on facebook and this was when Facebook was popping and shit so she accepted. I sent her a message a few days later and after that shit went south real quick and I believe all of it was my fault cause I really truly feel as if I was like rushing her like in a way I guess. I don't know. I never had feelings for anyone like her. So it was hella new to me.
The next day I bought tickets for the school soccer game and I went and she did well. I didn't really say too much to her at the game but Hey. But after the game ended I went home and put the ticket away with her name on it and the date as to when I went but to this day, I have no fucking idea as to where that ticket went.
So a day or two goes by and I sent her a friend request on facebook and this was when Facebook was popping and shit so she accepted. I sent her a message a few days later and after that shit went south real quick and I believe all of it was my fault cause I really truly feel as if I was like rushing her like in a way I guess. I don't know. I never had feelings for anyone like her. So it was hella new to me.
So I go to school I don't really pay attention to her. I stopped communicating with her. I basically said to myself I don't know you anymore and that's when I went suicidal and started fighting others again. The first person was someone talking shit about her and back then I was so committed to fighting anyone who said anything bad about her or just saying anything about her indirectly. So yeah his ass got chock slammed to the ground and my hands were still on his neck trying to make him die or whatever.
So yeah basically I died in 8th grade and I became what I am now. Someone who doesn't fall in love with anyone and doesn't get close to others. It doesn't hurt me at all. I'm just upset I fucked up a good thing with a really cool girl. That's all I'm upset about. But like I said I don't bring up the past and I hate looking back at it. So let's just leave it at that.
Anyways I have a few words to say to this girl if she happens to stumbles upon this and if not then I'm just glad I got it off my chest.
I'm sorry for everything, to be honest. Everything I felt/said to you was real and I couldn't ever fake what I felt towards you even if someone had paid me. Those feelings I had for you were awesome and I wouldn't regret it for the world. I haven't had those type of feelings for anyone but you. So I don't know. But anyways I have to go take care of my dog now so good night.