Blog Post 104

Living For Me Only

Do you ever feel like you're living for someone else? Cause I sure as hell do and it's annoying as fuck. Being told what to wear, how to act & what to do is just not me. I'm sorry but this whole fucking shit you got me doing isn't going to work for me and I don't even know what made you think that this was a top of the line plan. Considering the fact that I don't live for others nor do I care for others enough to actually live on in there memory.

I'd rather just continue doing me and if I get hate for not following in someone else's footsteps then so fucking be it. These past few years I've been constantly been told how to do things and all this other shit and I'm tired of it. I don't want to follow in someone else's footsteps considering the fact I don't even have any of my own footsteps to follow. So how can I take on someone else's?

People must have me confused with someone else because I keep looking at myself in the mirror and all I see is an annoyed ass person wanting to erase everyone from his life. But hey if that's what your goal was then mission accomplished you've successfully made me into a fucking monster. I can't even look at people the same way I used to a few months ago all because I can't remember why they're still in my life and somehow care for me.

Anyways I feel like these past few years were all just lessons learned. I learned who to trust and who to hate. I learned who to talk to and who to ignore. I learned how to fight for myself only and not give two fucks about others in need. I basically learned how to live for myself which was dope and all but changing me into someone I'm not made me forget what it was for.

The only good thing I can say about those past few years is that it helped me remember my dark past and my dreams are starting to come more visual and darker than usual. Which I haven't had since I was like in middle school and for some reason I'm enjoying the nightmares and dreaming about shit such as death and other shit close to it.

People can keep saying that they know me from the inside out but they're lying like a motherfucker. Cause I know damn well even a doctor with multiple college degrees and Ph.D.'s can't even figure me out. So you average ass human beings can quit saying you know me. Cause you DON'T!

People think just because you tell me something I'm going to do it but in reality, I don't really give a fuck as to what you need me to do or need from me. As long as you mind your own business and stay the fuck out my way I won't go off on you. I find it stupid how people think they have some sort of claim on me or whatever when I'm independent as hell in the first place and second I never ask for other peoples help. So I don't see where they would get the idea of me actually being someone's fucked up puppet. You know? Like what the actual fuck.

So how about you stop fucking with your sister, cousin etc and actually do your research on me or better yet ask someone about me. Cause I'm pretty sure there are hella people near you that have a lot of shit to say about me and to be honest I don't really give a single fuck considering the fact that they aren't in my life and never were so I mean you can do that math on that. But if you can't then let me spell it out. It's just there fucking opinions & not the actual facts. The only facts I have are that I'm rude as hell to those who think they know everything about me and I'm anti-social as hell so I don't have to be dragged into some lame ass 2nd-grade drama.

So there case closed. Good night.