Blog Post 116

I Don't Want To Forget About You

I never thought I'd be in this position where I would care so much about another person. But you showed me that I could and for that I thank you. Without you coming into my life I would have never been able to feel the things that I do now. I hope you can understand that you're the reason I'm back to being able to love again and laugh at all the little things you do instead of getting annoyed with it. I really appreciate you making time for me and making me smile even though you know I hate smiling. I don't think anyone else can do that but you and that's really amazing to me. I've always hidden my feelings for others but with you, it's so easy for me to tell you how I feel about you and not have me feel stupid afterwards.

I want to remember us just being us. Not something that we were pretending to be. I know my feelings for you are real so it wasn't that hard to fall in love with you. I know you're never going to admit to me the things you feel towards me all the time but I know you're trying and for that, I appreciate it. I hope this thing between us doesn't go sideways to where we no longer speak to one another because if that happens then I would just keep asking myself if this was all worth it knowing from my point of view it is/was but with you it could be a different story and I don't want that to be the case. I want us to be on the same page during our relationship and after it.

I can't help but think you've got things to tell me but don't want to because you think you might end up getting hurt by my response and I say fuck that. Tell me what it is you're feeling and thinking so we can grow and not have things to regret later on in this relationship. I'll never be the one to force your feelings on me when you already know I don't have problems showing how I feel towards you. I just want you to know you can trust and depend on me whenever. I just really hate feeling like I'm that bad guy in some scenarios all because our communication skills are off a bit. I really do want the best for us and for you in general because without you it's just me looking at a phone with text I should've sent to you letting you know what was going on. 

I really do mean everything I tell you and I feel like you know that but then you go and second guess it though. Which I don't really get to be honest. I wish there wasn't any second-guessing going on in this relationship but I know you've been hurt in the past like me so I can see why you do it. I don't want you to think I'm second-guessing things between us because I'm not. I'm just curious if you're going to still love me when you wake up that's all. I know that you'll always hold a special place in my heart but right now I'm just trying to live in the moment with you and not worry about what happens to this thing we have when it's all done and over with.