Blog Post 164

I Find You Useless

 I find it interesting how people ask me if I’m in a relationship and when I reply with no they see me as an outcast and just laugh at me. Which is fine considering I don’t really fucks with most people that I meet so I get where they’re coming from. But since when does being single / independent have to be a weird thing? I’ve been alone for so long that I don’t know how to be with somebody else. It’s hard and feels uncomfortable for me being with someone for more than an hour. Feels like I’m invading their space and I just end up leaving without an explanation other than it’s been chill but I got to go.

Not sure if it’s because I pushed everyone away from me for getting too attached or just simply because I didn’t care to be bothered and have people getting in the way of my life and end up being dragged into shit I have no interest in acknowledging. But either way I don’t regret it. I only regret giving them the option to stay or leave when they should’ve just left. Still got people thinking I need them when I don’t! I don’t care to add people on anything other then the block list. 

Something about keeping people from my past close by feels like I’m carrying around leftovers knowing I’ll never doing anything with it ever again. So I'm just trying to figure out if they feel obligated to stay in my life or if they’re just waiting for me to give them something in return and if that’s the case the only thing I’m willing to give in return is a hit and run on their ass. I don’t need people from my past weighing me down thinking it’s going to change my mind on how I see them? The way I see people from my past will never change! I see you as scraps that need to be thrown away! Don’t ever think you’re worth my time trying to make things right with because you aren’t and never will be!

I’m not trying to make things right with people I have no interest in. Something about taking shit back and starting over and trying to make things right just doesn’t sit right with me. If I told you to fuck off then you need to fuck off! If I told you to block me then you should’ve blocked me because I’m not trying to deal with your shit. If I told you to leave me alone then you need to leave me alone! I’m not sure what part you don’t understand but you better figure it out quickly before you look mad stupid talking to somebody who only sees you as a brick wall that they have no interest in! 

Certain things about me have never changed such as how I see people and the way I feel about others. I will never find the human species relevant enough to make truce with it! I find majority of those I come in contact with a waste of my time and useless! Take it how you will but don’t ever assume I like you! The only thing I like is watching those who meet me feel like they have me figured out when I only show them what I want them to see!