Blog Post 167

Just Bury Me 6ft Under

All this shit we do is getting irrelevant real quick. So why don't we just get a gun and shoot ourselves with it? Seems a lot logical to do then just sitting around wasting our time thinking about shit that doesn't even matter. Getting tired of being this and that when I just wanna be alone and dead. Maybe then I could get some long awaited peace and quiet. This back and forth shit getting to the point where I just wanna stay at my current position and never look back. Just need others to understand that all this shit is temporary and never lasting. Sometimes things get so out of hand that I point a gun to my head and close my eyes thinking it'll be over but for some reason I always ease off the trigger and just pass out.

I just feel like there's nothing left for me to give or do with my life. So why not just call it quits and let my ship sail into the depths of hell and call it a year. It's like people around me want me to stay alive and do what they want me to do for their own sake but what about me? Nobody has never asked me what's causing me to feel this way or is there any way I can help. So it just shows they're only doing it for themselves. That's why I never bring up my problems to others because I know they don't care since they always have the same reaction and question when it comes to how I'm doing / going through some shit.

It's the same reason I distance myself when it comes to me feeling off or suicidal. I don't need negative ass people near me when I'm already at my lowest point. It just makes me go even further into the darkest and lowest point of my life. Makes me more aggressive and more likely to fight back and not look back and just face the consequences. I feel like me being around others is a safety hazard / risk for others. I already don't like people so me being next to them just gets my blood boiling. I don't care about anyone anymore so whatever happens happens. Not here for small talk or games. Just here to see my death and move on. Nothing more nothing less.