Blog Post 169

Sorry It Took So Long

How can I be happy when all I feel is pain and regret when seeing you? It's like hell on earth knowing I can't do anything to make the pain go away. I told myself I'd keep my distance from you from then on out and so far I've stuck to it but seeing you out and about just doesn't feel right knowing you should be next o me like how it used be when we first met. Things are so much different and difficult now knowing I have to move on as if nothing happened between you and I.

But how can someone like me move on when I never even got the chance to say sorry or explain myself from the jump. Feels like a lot of shit was unsaid and I wish I could just come out and tell you everything was on me and never on you. I never meant to hurt you in silence. I just thought by me keeping my distance and hiding all my pain it would make things easier for you and we could just continue passing by as if nothing was wrong as usual.

But it turns out there was a lot of wrongs going on behind the scenes and I just didn't know how to tell you face to face. So I ended up walking away and never looked back on us and for that I'm truly sorry. I just thought space was the best option for the both of us but all we really needed was communication skills. But knowing me and how I am about communicating my feeling and how I felt about a certain situation that went down it just never ends well. So I just figured I'd do it on my own and let you be free.

Sorry it's taken so long to get this out there. I just wanted to make sure that after this was posted that there was no going back and we both agree to go our separate ways. I mean no disrespect but there's just too much bad blood between us now and there's no need to ever acknowledge one another. I'll always remember what it felt like loving you because nobody else could ever make me love them the way I once did with you. Something about you really made it feel amazing and nobody else can ever come close to making me feel that way.

Not saying I won't ever feel love or affection towards somebody else ever again. I'm just saying it will never be as strong and meaningful as it was with you. You were my first and last it seems and for that I must thank you. But from here on out there's really not much left to say or do other than to just say my final goodbye and continue bout my life as if you were never part of it.