Blog Post 181
I'm Fine, Trust Me
I understand people will want to questions about my past which is fine but don’t force the answers out of me! If I’m not comfortable talking about something from my past or don’t recall it happening then just accept that and respect my wishes to not talk about it nor acknowledge it! It doesn’t make any sense to me as to why I need to relive a moment from my past just for you to get the run down of what happened and if it made any sense, to begin with. It’s just weird to me how people only care about other's past and nothing else. Seems like they have no life or ambition to do anything else other than to prey on other people’s trauma when they had no control over it what’s so ever!
Yes, I understand my past is a complete shit show but that’s only because I was on my own and did everything my way and didn’t care for the consequences! It has nothing to do with me being a bad kid or anything in that area. I just grew up not caring about the shit that I did or the things that happened to me & around me! Everything I did was most likely out of anxiety and impulsiveness so it’s not like I could control that part of me when it’s already said and done! People don’t need to know me and I’m not making it seem like I want people to know me or have anything sort of involvement with my life anyways. I keep quiet and sit back for most of the year! I don’t do or say much because I already know my time is better served somewhere else rather than with people who don’t even care about their own well-being!
I tend to prioritize my friendships and life doings in a sequence. I’m extremely picking when it comes to dating, hanging out with people, talking to others, and just everyone I’m basically associated with right now currently! I'm not looking for a handout or a way into some exposure when I’m already the type to just distance myself from others and go completely ghost every few months just so I can focus on myself and y mental health. I don’t hate or have any kind of issue with the people I’m around and associated with, it’s just I have moments in my life where I don’t need anyone around or near me. I just simply need space and quietness. Nothing more nothing less. I find myself getting bored with the same shit over and over so I tend to seek out new things to do with new people. I’m never in one place for too long because certain places just bore me or the room I’m in is just too crowded to breathe in half the time.
It has nothing to do with what people say or do to me, it’s just my personal space feels like it’s being invaded most days I’m out! This really sucks for me because having boundaries set and knowing where you stand is a big deal for me. So if you interrupt and disturb my peace and personal space then just know I’m going to ask what your deal is because you’re old enough to understand boundaries and personal space! It’s just weird how people sometimes don’t even acknowledge others space. They just barge in like a welcome party of some sort. I mean I understand you doing that if you’re a close friend or a family member but a complete stranger or someone I just met?! Yeah, No! Tone it down or get the fuck on because this isn’t a life you want to be part of trust me!