Blog Post 213

Not My Type

Even though I got a rush off you every time we linked up I knew that you were never really the one I wanted. I just did it cause I knew you would've been an easy target. I never meant to get attached but I did and I think that's why it was hard for me to keep focus. I knew that you were no good for me from the start but I did it anyways because I wanted to see if you were worth the hype and turns out you're really not. I lowered my standards just to please you and let you have your way because I felt sorry for you. I never mentioned it before because it would've made me seem like an ass and now that I'm thinking about it maybe I should've told you my reasons behind the whole linking up thing. But I didn't because I wanted to see how far you were willing to take it.

I admit I like how easy it was to get your attention but now that everything is done and over with I'm glad to say that I no longer need to keep tabs on you. I'm not trying to be a friend of yours. I'm just done and over the whole thought of you. I tried to paint you out to be this picture-perfect person who could do no wrong just to make it easier to be with you and be able to talk to you but it was never easy. I made up an image of you that was the complete opposite of who you really were because it just made it easier to be around you. But now that I scrapped that image of you it's just easier to no longer be around you. I did everything I could to deny the hate and the disrespect that came my way when it came to you but it just made me look hella stupid every time because I was so caught up on making things right with you that I was losing sight of reality.

You never made me feel anything that I haven't already felt before. Every feeling I ever had for you was forced and annoying because there were days I just wanted to be numb because of all the shit you did. I kept telling myself that you could be the one but the only thing you really are for me is just a nuisance. I never really saw anything in you other than all the baggage and bullshit that you had with you. I just avoided it because I knew if I called you out on it you would've turned into a psycho maniac or some shit in that area and I really wasn't trying take care of a child or be around childish behaviors that's why I did the things I did. I'm not looking to babysit or caregiver for a grown-ass person who should know better than to do the shit they do.

So yeah I guess the cat is out of the bag for this one. I hope everything is now done and over with completely between you and I because honestly I'm sick of you at this point and don't think I hate you now because I don't. I'm just done talking about you and anything related to you. I just finally came to terms with you not ever really being my type but just someone I ended up messing around with because I was bored and the actual person I like was just out of state for the moment so I needed something to do while they were out. That's really it. I didn't mean to get attached or catch these so-called feelings. When my feelings towards you don't even add up. So thanks for the company but you really gotta go!