Blog Post 227
It's Just the Way It Is
A lot of things are just meant to be untouched and simply left alone. So why would you bother with the need to disturb me for your own amusement? Seems like someone didn’t get enough attention as a kid so they gotta make up for it by acting out and disturbing others at their peace. This is understandable if you’re looking for a way to reconnect and recover what was never given to you but god damn do it to someone else! I don’t have the time for childish games! It’s such a waste of time to even be around you. I don’t know why you chose me out of all the people! I rarely communicate or acknowledge others, to begin with. So for you to act out and get in my way just to be a clown and looked down on it’s highly concerning for me! I wouldn’t hate on you or care to give you the satisfaction because I’m not sure what’s up your ass nor do I know if it’s just a mental illness that you’ve got where you have to be attention-seeking everywhere you go! But whatever it is you gotta go do it to someone else because I’m on the verge of ending your shenanigans and your entire act! It’s not funny or acceptable so just chill for a month and leave me alone! Don’t be texting and calling me asking to hang out because I’m in no position to exist around others right now!
It’s just I’m trying my best to avoid myself from being an ass to you but I don’t know how else to go about it other than just call you out on your shit! My bad if I’ve gone too far but you need to understand that there’s a time and place for everything you do! You can’t be in my life acting the way you do when I’m in deep thought trying to process all my trauma in a calm and settled manner! I need you to just calm down and let shit be for what it is and look the other way! I don’t care about the shit that goes on in other people's lives so please don’t update me on it! I just wanna focus on my own situations and let others do what they do best which is ignoring me at all costs! I don’t care to exist in their world so please don’t mention them around me! It’s fine to share your life situations but not others because that’s just being all nosey and shit and I’m really not trying to be in some drama over shit that has nothing to do with me to begin with! I need you to just leave me out of topics that don’t concern my needs or wants! That’s really all I’m asking for!
I want the best for you but you need to understand that being in other people's business will never be a help to you! I mean sure you can observe and get small details about this and that but don’t fucking overdo it! It’ll just make you seem like a know-it-all and you’re not that, to begin with! Yeah, you might overtalk and shit but overall you’re pretty chill when you’re not in people's way! I just hope one day you can learn to just be yourself without the need to be all over the place if that makes sense! Yeah, you have good intentions but your timing is what makes it concerning. You have the right ideas and the right mindset but the way you position yourself and the way you interact it’s not suitable for those around you if that makes sense. I’m just watching out for you but there’s only so much I can do and say before you get humiliated in front of those you’re trying to make friends with! I wish things weren’t so complicated for you but it is what it is and there’s not much I can do or say for you to get on the right track / in the right mindset for how things should be!
I don’t care to hold you back or feel like a disabler for you to do the things you want and need to do! I’m just simply looking out for you and if I’m overdoing it I apologize! I’d just really hate to see you get hurt and not be there to comfort you when it happens. I want you to do your thing and be open about all the things you’re interested in and your life goals but just don’t go out spreading that out like wildfires because sooner or later those you talk to will come down and rain on your parade and ruin you for the worse and I just don’t want to see you end up in a state of depression because of that. Maybe I’m just overly caring right now and being the one you need right now but overall I'm just trying my best to protect you and also let you have the freedom you desperately deserve but it’s hard because I’m not sure if you’re going to make it in the real world or not! I wish some of my anti fucks would rub off on you and you could be neutral and distant to certain situations instead of always giving your time and energy to pointless doings!
It’s just a lot to handle on my part because I feel like if I do this and that then you’re just gonna do the exact opposite and there’s not going to be much of an understanding between the two of us which is going to make shit twice as hard and confusing for the both of us! So I guess the only thing to do is just have me let you do you and remain neutral as much as possible until something catastrophic happens. I feel like I have no use for you anymore so if you’re okay with being on your own and feel comfortable doing the things you want to do then please do it! But just know I won’t be around to help you out of sticky situations anymore! I’ll be long gone and a memory that’ll just fade off into the distance! But if you happen to change your mind and want me to stay and remain a friend of yours then just let me know otherwise I'm done and gone and I'm not coming back until further notice!