Blog Post 238

I Have Nothing Left to Say

I’m in the process of taking a break from everyone and everything around me so my blog site is currently at a standstill until further notice. I’ll continue to write out ideas about what I want to publish in my notes app but other than that I won’t be publishing anything to the public until I feel 100% comfortable with the post! I’ve realized that I’ve just been publishing and letting things out in the open as a coping mechanism and not much of a thought process behind it! Most of the posts are through unprocessed pain, feelings, and thoughts and it’s just unhealthy! I mean yeah I got my point across and no longer feel any sort of guilt or pain from doing so, but I just need to find another way to let shit be for what it is instead of going to the notes app and letting it out that way! I mean yeah it gives me hella shit to think about and gives me an outlet to explain everything but sometimes shit should just stay hidden and in the shadows!

I came to terms with having every fucked up & traumatic shit that’s ever happened to me and is going to happen to me should just be ignored and not dealt with in the public eye! I should just stick to the shadows and have myself act as if it never happened or existed in the first place. I think it’ll be best for everyone and if I die in the process, it is what it is because my death has already been written in stone for me, so why bother? I’m just gonna let this ride, ride out until my death, and see where it goes cause I no longer care to be in control of my own doings or life in general! I’m young and tired! I just wanna ride it out til the death of me and call it a life!

I’ve come to so many terms that my thought process is unlike anyone else’s. I’m not here for the bullshit or deception I’m just here as me and if you don’t like me for me then get the fuck out of my face! I’m not in the mood to act like this or that just to have you like me! Fuck all that playing nice and being nice to toxic ass people! Just say you don’t fucks with me and I’m off to being antisocial as fuck and keeping my distance from you! I’m not mad or annoyed with anyone I’m just done trying to be the friendly and the good guy to everyone! I just want to be me and if the real me is an ass/someone you can’t hang with then so be it! As long as you know your place with me it’s all good on my end! Just don't be doing shady shit or otherwise, I’ll expose you for the shit you do! It’s up to you! But like I said it’s best if you just stand clear from me because you’re not going to like me for me!

It’s just time for me to end it all and start doing my own thing again! I don’t need your approval or request & fake ass love just to be invited & involved in your life! I don’t care how you see me as long as you aren’t in my way or having my name in your mouth then we’re good! I just don’t have time to address this and that when we all know you’re only looking for a way to be associated with me all because you know I limit myself to those I associate with. Your only intentions with my name being in your mouth is for the clout and acknowledgment thinking you’re close with me knowing damn well I’d walk right past your ass and not think twice about looking back! It’s the same reason why we don’t hang out or talk! I just know you'll use me for your needs and I’m not about that shit! So pack your shit and leave me alone because the second I’m done with anyone I have no need to talk to them and you’re about to be another prime example! So please just leave me alone!