Blog Post 250

Been Keeping Low

I know I’ve been off everyone’s radar for quite some time now and it’s not because I had a problem or any kind of beef with those around me and those close to me! It’s just I needed time to distance myself and go my own way for a while! I didn’t care to bother reaching out or being seen because I didn’t have anything to say or talk about at the time and I just didn’t feel like being a waste of time for others. So I decided it was best to just keep quiet and stick to the shadows! I didn’t care to respond or acknowledge anyone’s texts or calls because what was I supposed to say exactly? It just didn’t feel right reaching out to anyone! I made the choice and chose to be happy on my own! I didn’t care to stress anyone out with my own personal issues when in reality none of the issues I was having have taken a toll on me since I quit being associated with others! Everything has been smooth sailing since I cut ties with just about everyone! 

I might step out here and there to get a few things but overall I stay out of sight and out of the way with just about everyone who knows/knew me!! I just don’t see the point in making my presence known! I just wanna slowly stop existing in other people's worlds and just live in my own space! Yeah, I might hit a social club here and there but it’s just so I can edit photos and drink a twisted tea! Nothing too crazy/absurd! I just wanna be left alone and unbothered! I have zero recollection of anything I did in my past! So if you’re someone who has memories of me please delete them from your life because I promise you I won’t know what you’re talking about! I’m just at peace with finally becoming completely anti-social and alone that nothing I do or say will ever be a bother to others because other people’s reactions/concerns for me don’t correlate to me anymore! I’m finally at the point where I’m fully free and unbothered with my own life and whatever I say and do is up to me! I don’t care if this or that is said about me because for starters I don’t even know that person and second, why do they even bother talking about a person who’s so unbothered by what anyone says or does to them? Seems kind of weird to me!!

I feel like I’m at a point in my life where I’m fully aware of what I need to do and where I need to be to enjoy life and just not think twice about all that other shit that goes on! Social media is dead for me! I just wanna take photos, publish a few things here and there, talk to the few people I still keep in touch with, and just sleep! Nothing more nothing less! I’m not looking for a way to exist or be called up for a social gathering when in reality being social is the least of my worries! I just wanna focus on my own thing than what makes other people happy! I’m probably losing more friends than gaining and I’m totally cool with it! Because at the end of the day I only have myself and that’s all I really need! So whatever extra shit that goes on around me can honestly just disappear and move on from me! I have no use or need for any of it anymore! I understand that me cutting ties with everyone out of the blue was kind of unexpected and unnecessary but it is what it is and people just have to accept it and move on as if I never existed! Shit by all means block me if it made you that mad/upset that I removed you to keep my life at ease and peaceful!

I don’t care to talk to anyone or participate in small talk about this and that every day! I’m barely making time for family members! I just love the thought of being alone and not having to rely on and depend on others for my happiness! I’m perfectly fine and well being on my own and staying within my comfort zone of doings! So please don’t think I miss any part of you or the history that we had because honestly, I don’t even remember how or why we were even talking/associated with each other in the first place! I’m starting to realize a lot of people I had around me were clowns and just no good for my mental health and life in general! So yeah I’m fine just chilling and vibing on my own, so don’t stress or feel the need to check up on me because I promise you you’ll never get a call back / response back! I'm not in any position to talk about my mental health or life doings when it's pretty clear as to what I'm doing and what's been going on lately with me, you just have to open up your eyes and look. I'm done with all the talking and making things known to others when it just gets in the way of making things actually happen.