Mak

I Could've Been Better Pt. 2 I can’t put my emotions to rest when all I’m thinking about is you! It feels like I’m lost all over again without you! I thought we’d have forever but nothing last forever with me and I’m so sorry it came to what it did! I just need you to know that you were the best I ever had and if I could have stopped time to be with you forever I would! I felt so much love being around and with you that it felt so amazing knowing I had found someone just to let them leave because of the different lives we both live!  I’m letting myself shut down and finding a way to heal from all the feelings I’m feeling because  the thought of you just makes me so sad and happy that I know I can’t have you back & I can’t come back into your life because of everything that’s been said! I wish the best of luck to you and the life you have back home! I just know these next few months are going to be the hardest for me because I’ll be drowning in the depths of emptiness think...

I Could've Been Better Pt. 1 I felt us losing control the moment we showered together. It all felt so right for the time being but after a while I felt as if I was never going to be enough so I stopped trying and only did what you wanted to make you happy! I put my needs aside for the time being just to see you smile! I didn’t care to be in the wrong or right of anything, I just wanted to make you happy! I ended up taking notes on what it meant to love and to be loved to realize I can never have it! It all seems so nice on paper and in the books but in real life it’s just not me! You sneak diss miss right in front of me it feels like and I ignore it because I hate the drama but yet again I just wanted to know what the reasoning for it was!  I thought everything was good and well until I started overthinking about my past and letting it control my actions in the present just so I wouldn’t make the same mistake twice! I ended up keeping my distance and letting you take the lead even ...

Just Trying to Keep It Cool I’m not wishing us to end but I have thoughts about us ending and it just kills me knowing that things between us will eventually end and I’ll have to accept it! Knowing I did nothing wrong it’s just I don’t know what the future holds for us even though the thought of me moving on with someone else is killing me! I’m still trying to process how I’ll feel knowing I crossed your mind and made you cry! I felt like I was ready to fall in love with you but my overthinking kept telling me to hold off only to lose you in the process! I thought I could just take my time and see where we stood with one another but looks like we stood further than I had hoped for! I never meant to make you cry or do things to make you feel the way you felt! All I ever wanted was to show you the caring side of me but I guess even that wasn’t enough for someone like you! I'm going to miss all the late-night talks and just having you being my peace!  I thought I was ready for the lov...

Forgetting to Breathe I pray that one day when we cross paths that you'll remember my name to the point where it makes you question my existence. I hope when you're out with your friends that you'll picture me across the bar knowing it was never about me, I hope when you're out driving around that you'll see my body dead on the streets knowing it was because of you, I hope when you think of someone else that all you can see is me. I hate that I'm having to to do this but what other option do I have for you to understand that it was all of your fault from the jump. I wish you had treated me the same way as you treated your peers but I guess I was just another game to blame. I pray that one day you'll come to having peace and end up finding everything you've once lost because the way everything happened it's like I lost part of my soul when it came to you. It doesn't matter how far I tend to go I'll always come back to where it feels safer and ...