Blog Post 263

I'm Sorry I Couldn't Be Better for You

This is dedicated to the who means everything to me, so I apologize in advance if this doesn't make sense to those unaware of the situation.

I know things were going so well and it felt like a dream come true for the both of us, but then things ended up getting way too confusing and seemed like non-stop back-and-forth arguments about this and that when it's really no big deal. It's just life and I have to move on with it. I think if I just took a minute to breathe and accept the fact that you can actually love me the way that you say, I wouldn't have to overthink so much about your past and all the things that have happened. I wish we could be together face to face on a daily and not so far apart. I wish things could be so much more between us but then again I feel like we rushed into it like you said and things are just now starting to unfold which sucks but it has to be done so we can figure out if it's worth the fight or not.

I really wish I didn't have to overthink everything that goes on between us two and who's actually involved in this. I can't tell if it really is just the two of us or if there are multiple parties involved with what we have. I hate thinking about all of this and coming to terms with it all but what more can I do/say to get to the bottom of it and I know I shouldn't get jealous over the people you talk to and hang out/meet with knowing there's probably nothing going on but I just have this strange feeling that they might make a move on you knowing that they're in no position to do so. I just hate the thought of someone else giving you the attention and making you feel something that I can't give to you in person. It makes me wanna cry and do so much more than what's already been done.

I wish we had another time and place for all of this, but I don't wish to lose sight of what we already have even though it's a bit unsteady right now. I have faith that things will work out in their own way and we can just relax and not have to worry about anything that tries to get in the way of us.

This is the first time I've ever wanted to make something work in a long time. I used to be so quick to just kill it off at the first sight of a red flag but not with you, I just found ways around them and learned to just accept them for what they are and not be bothered by it. But apparently, it's getting a bit more complicated than what I had hoped for. It feels like there's something new to acknowledge every day now when it would just be minor things every few days or so just to get familiar with each other's needs and such. But it's just been arguments over things that shouldn't even have relevance to what we have going on. Yeah, exes are discussed but when you mention other people texting you and asking for such things it makes me feel like I'm just a standby for something else just in case you lose what already you have it seems.

I hate feeling like I'm having to compete for something when all I really want is you and I'm willing to do whatever it takes to have us be as one but by the looks of it, it just feels like it's a waste of time. I think things are simply just not meant to work out between us two and that's okay but god damn I really wish you and I would last. I fell so hard for you that I can't see myself with anyone else as of right now. I just wanna take this time to take it slow and just see what happens. I wanna take a few steps back and just keep letting it flow and not have to overthink about all the things I once did and said to make it seem like I'm not ready for what this is becoming! I want this to work more than you'll ever know. I can't imagine a life without you now that I have you. It's just one of those things where if I want it I have to fight for it and I really wanna fight for what we have and continue growing with one another!