Blog Post 266
I'm Not Going Anywhere
I’m trying my best to do everything right without making any mistakes but sometimes I feel like me doing that I’m only causing a rift between the two of us! I’m not thinking clearly so things get jumbled around and I’m not sure what's what! I thought that I could just be me but that was a big mistake! I’m too nonchalant and when it comes to being in a relationship I have to be less nonchalant and understanding with everything that’s being said and done to me!
I don’t wish to make it seem like I don’t care about you or just say shit just to say it so you’d stop asking questions because it’s just what you wanna hear and not something I’m feeling/wanting to say! It’s just how I’ve always been and I know that’s not right but I’m learning as I’m getting to know you better and all the things you like and don’t like. I’m learning how to be more patient and learning how to not overthink things just because it doesn’t add up at the moment! I’m learning to have more trust in you & us so there’s no need for me to wonder about this and that when I know everything is real and good between us two!
I didn’t mean to call you out or make it seem like I didn’t care about us/you! I care a lot about you and everything you say and do! It’s just at first we had a rocky start so everything I was seeing just kind of made me keep my distance and second-guess the majority of the things happening! I didn’t take into consideration that you were trying to patch things up from your past so you could have a future with me. I never realized everything that was happening was so you could be with me at the time and I’m so sorry I didn’t see it sooner! I just thought things were never going to work out between the two of us because of everything that had happened!
But I’ve come to realize everything is all starting to come to light and I’m seeing the bigger picture between the two of us! Everything is so much clearer that I’m no longer confused about us and what we are! I’m loving all the things we do and the things we talk about! There’s never a dull moment between the two of us.. yeah we may have small issues here and there but they usually get resolved pretty quickly now that I’m openly trying to communicate and ask how I/we can fix & work on it so it doesn’t happen again!
Im willing to do whatever it takes to make us work and delete/clear out anything that comes in the way / between the two of us no matter the cost! I want you and only you! I can see myself with you in the future knowing I’m not going to find anyone as special as you! I’m working on bettering myself so you can understand me better cause at first I never talked about myself or openly discussed myself in the way that I do now with you! I know things get hard sometimes but as long as I’m with you it’ll all pass on and there’s nothing that’ll stop me from loving you!
You’re the best thing that’s ever stepped foot into my life and I don’t care if you disagree or not! You’re the one I fall asleep to and wake up to! You’re the one who makes me smile first thing in the morning and tells me they love me at the end of the day! I always look forward to seeing and talking to you! You make me so happy that everybody else just doesn’t matter anymore! I’m not sure what you did to me but I’m loving every second of it and I know things will get easier as time goes on but for now, I’m happy with what I have with you I’m not looking for anything more unless, of course, it’s us moving in together than yeah!
But for now, everything between the two of us is all I need! I don’t need to know or care to know who likes me now or liked me before I met you! All I see is myself with you from here til death! I don’t have it in me to cheat or make cheating into a joke when it comes to you! I want there to be complete honesty and trust and that’s all I know I keep you updated with just about everything but that’s only because I don’t want you to wonder/think something bad is going to happen! I’m always going to come back home and talk to you and hear about all the things you did and tell you I love you & goodnight at the end of it all! You’re my person and I’m so thankful for having you in my life! You’re the love of my life and I don’t wish to lose you! I’ll do anything to make you happy cause seeing you happy makes me happy and that’s all I want!!