Blog Post 269
All I Think About is You
To say that there’s no future with you is a lie and I hate lies so why does it feel like all of this chemistry between us is pointless? I can’t tell you the number of times I cried wishing you were next to me hugging me at my lowest points! I can’t imagine a life without you and I know there’s plenty of time to do things with you but right now I just wanna hold on to what we have and love you unconditionally and just have you forever in my arms!! I don’t need to find someone else when all you do is bring me peace and clarity!! I love everything about you and there's nothing you can say or do that will ever make me change my mind about you!!
I can’t help but get emotional when things go wrong because I just want the best for you and when shit hits the fan I go numb asking myself where it all went wrong!! I love you so damn much I’ll do anything to make you smile and have you be happy and stress-free! I don’t care how many people try and stop me from loving you I’m dodging all of them just to give you the love that you deserve!! I don’t wish to see you cry and have you mention how much things are bothering you because I’ll do whatever it takes to have those things not hurt you! I’ll sacrifice my own life for yours if I need to! I’ll give you my heart if yours ever fails and I’ll always be with you and you’ll always have a part of me forever! I don’t wish to let go of us and what we have so please just give me a chance to make it right and stop your worries from hurting you!!
They said that love is hard and it’s something you gotta be willing to fight for otherwise there’s no point in being in love, and I’m finally getting the full understanding of it all! I thought it was just something people said to steer you away from it but I’ve learned that it’s going to be a back-and-forth and the only thing that matters is if we’re both willing to stick together and make it work! It can’t always be just about you or me! It has to be a mutual thing and if it’s not then, of course, it’s all bound to come crashing down and I don’t want this love that we have to come crashing down! I love you more than life itself and I can’t stress this enough when I said I want you to be mine and only mine! I’m not going anywhere without you. I wanna stay and make things right and move forward with our relationship and lives as one and make something special out of it all!! I love you and only you and I know I have to make things right and easy for you so you won’t have to worry but I need you to understand it’s going to take some time because I don’t wanna make any mistakes down the line with you! I’m trying my fucking best to make it work but sometimes I get so caught up in making sure we’re okay that I forget about the bigger picture and mistakes are going to be made only to learn from and grow as time goes by!!
It’s hard not knowing what the future holds for us but I know I wouldn’t want to live a life where you’re not in it! I have dreams of you standing next to me and telling me everything will be alright and that you love me! I have so many thoughts running through my mind about you and me that I can only wish for the best for us! I don’t ever want to see you hurting and you crying the other night just broke me into pieces! I didn’t know how to react or what I should’ve been doing because I was so scared of losing you that I just shut down and let you get it all out of your system!! I wanted to say something but I knew if I had said something it wouldn’t have mattered at the time! It might have just made it worse and I didn’t wanna lose you!! I’m not ready to lose you! You’re the best thing that’s ever stepped foot into my life and I wanna do whatever it takes to keep you safe and happy! I don’t care about what anyone else has to say about you and I/us! I love you and you’ll always be my favorite from here on out!
I’ll do whatever I can to make you feel loved and appreciated and I would do whatever it takes to make you not feel the sadness that you feel! I’m willing to give up my organs just to have you live longer because in all honesty I just want the best for you and I don’t know if I’m capable of doing all of the things I wanna do! But I’m sure as hell going to give it my all and make you see the good in me! I don’t want you to feel confused about me and the love I have for you!! Those were never my intentions, to begin with! All I wanted to do was give you the love that I never had & I know I can you just gotta give me a chance because nobody’s ever given me the chance to love them and I know I can love someone better than their own family members! So please just let me love you!!