Mak

It Got Better!! I know I've been losing control lately but somehow it seems as if I got a grip on things again and by the looks of it things are so much better now. Never before have I been so happy to wake up and get shit done. I know I've said things will never change but it was because I was suffocating myself with the people around me and the job I was so desperately holding on to. Turns out jobs are meant to be left behind and onto the next but only if it's upgrading you financially and mentally. Don't just leave and not have a plan for what's to come next. I can't really explain my situation right now other than I felt trapped with my first and only job after working there for almost four years and I just got bored and drained from everything going on and feeling like I wasn't making any progress with my life and my mental health became very unstable and I knew something had to be done. I mean yeah getting fired for fighting the lab manager wasn't ...

I'm the Problem I get it I’ll never be the guy you want or need? I get that I’ll never have a chance to do anything right or worth your time! I fucking get it! If I could just end my shit I would but I keep thinking I need to be here to make things right but there’s no longer any use on making things right! I’m getting casted to the side and treated as if I mean nothing and end up getting ignored when I don’t even reach out and make the jump to try and make things right! I guess everything I do is simply just not good enough or worth your time anymore! I’m starting to feel less and less of myself than anything! I can’t help but think nothing I say or do will make you happy anymore or make you wanna fight for what we have! I can’t help but just erase you and everything we once had out of my life and find someone new! And as much as it hurts telling myself you don’t matter and all of this was just trial in error from the jump I can’t help but stay and try and make things work even th...