Mak

I Had a Bad Day... But That's Okay!! So for starters I'd like to point out it was my fault and nobody else's for every thing that happened today. I got distracted and fixated on the breakup that was taking place and ended up losing focus. I should've just done the same thing I always do and go completely numb to avoid it all and I definitely should've stayed off my phone. The only phone being in my hands while at work will no longer be happening. Things just always seem to go wrong when I look at it and I'm tired of having things go wrong when I'm at work and having to explain the situation and be lectured about it. I'd like to take this time to fully apologize to myself & the individual that was involved for me being myself and tearing myself apart to where I had a complete mental breakdown and was crying to the point of no return. I got scared and lost my cool and forgot what my job had consisted of at the time of me breaking down. I got scared whe...

Feeling Free I'm no longer hitting the replay button to go back in time to look back at all the good times we had. It's more like fast forward so I can get to the good part now. I got so sick and tired of feeling like I wasn't good enough and telling myself that'll I'll never love someone as good as I did with you just to realize that may be true but I can just try my best and that's all I can do for now. I may not be the best at showing how I love but just know you're gonna see a different side of me every time when I show it. I keep having to learn from my past just so I can get it right and all the things I do and say is from all my past mistakes. So apologize if certain things seem too good to be true. I'd just hate to see it all go to flames once again. So please just give me some time to make things right for us and see where this love goes. I hope this one last even though I tell myself love is just so temporary so I stop trying midway through to ...

Honestly Just Get the Fuck Out I can't believe I wasted my time on you the way that I did. You never saw me for me and that's okay because I stopped being myself  5 months into our so called relationship. Even though I was kept a secret and could only be talked to when you were alone and out of the house. I lost my job because of all the fights we were having and I just couldn't take it anymore. I lost control and let the outcome take it's place. Luckily I got blessed with another job that has a much better pay a few days later and you had a problem with it which didn't make sense to me because I'm the one who has to pay bills and rent while you only have to pay for your car note because you live at home with your parents. Maybe get the fuck off your lazy ass and actually be an adult for once and go do some adult things other than having sex with complete strangers just to make yourself feel better. You talked shit about me behind my back and were never there to...

I’ll Never Have It I thought I could have something like everyone else has but clearly that one thing will never be mine fully and I’ve finally come to terms with it. It never last as long as everyone else’s and as much as I fucking give it my all and try my best to go all in it just ends up falling apart after a few months in and I’ve just come to terms with it that. I will no longer try or make myself want it ever again or have it happen to me ever again. I just wanna be myself to my own self and not have to worry or prove anything to anyone anymore. I did that for 11 months just for them to end it right before my eyes. I get so close and so happy just for me to end up being back to distant and numb from it all and I hate it. All they ever do is leave and go end up being with other ones that can fit there needs or whatever they have in mind. Which is cool but for someone like me who’s picky and very specific on what I want and need and for it to just end like this is sad if anything....