Blog Post 285
I Had a Bad Day... But That's Okay!!
So for starters I'd like to point out it was my fault and nobody else's for every thing that happened today. I got distracted and fixated on the breakup that was taking place and ended up losing focus. I should've just done the same thing I always do and go completely numb to avoid it all and I definitely should've stayed off my phone. The only phone being in my hands while at work will no longer be happening. Things just always seem to go wrong when I look at it and I'm tired of having things go wrong when I'm at work and having to explain the situation and be lectured about it.
I'd like to take this time to fully apologize to myself & the individual that was involved for me being myself and tearing myself apart to where I had a complete mental breakdown and was crying to the point of no return. I got scared and lost my cool and forgot what my job had consisted of at the time of me breaking down. I got scared when I was approached by a customer and started crying because I didn't know what else to do. I felt so bad that I just left without saying a word leaving them to wonder what had happened.
- For starters I'd like to change the way I feel and process my emotions
- I'd like to find away to stop hurting those I love
- I want to find a way to love someone correctly and gently
- I'd like to stop having mental break downs after telling myself I'm not good enough for others and all I'm ever good for is hurting and giving other people pain... I'd truly love it if that whole thought process would stop.
- I'd like to find a way to change all my bad and turn it around to where all I do is help others that I care about, instead of treating them like they don't matter
- For Starters I don't want any distractions such as a relationship
- I no longer wish to communicate with anyone outside of work unless they're family only
- I don't plan on seeking love or someone to keep my company
- I don't want to be on my phone thinking about all the things I did wrong and hating myself because I couldn't do anything to stop it or fix it from the aftermath
- I don't ever want to feel like I don't belong ... I've felt that for too long and I'm over that feeling
- I no longer want to feel like I have to send money because they don't have any and it's in my best interest.
- I don't want to feel like I'm a bother or not good enough for someone's love and attention
- I definitely don't ever want to beg for someone to talk to me to make things right