Blog Post 290
Was I The Only One?
I just gotta ask was my all not good enough or did you need others to boost your self-esteem and ego? Why did my past bother you so much when it had nothing to do with you? It's like I was living on repeat for a few months ever since I opened up and shared about my past which I have never done but I decided to go ahead and let you know because I thought I could trust you but I guess I was wrong. I guess being in love really does make us do some stupid things and that was my fault for thinking you'd care enough to understand why I shut down, overthink, and can't understand how to properly process feelings. But I was wrong. You just took all the things I told you and tried to find ways to pick me apart from the beginning to end and I hated you for it.
I ended up going off because you would talk to me as if the things I was telling you about myself and the things I went through didn't actually happen. Like what the actual fuck do you mean I'm lying about how I was raised and the things I went through? I literally have the scars and nightmares to prove it like get out of my face. You literally didn't believe me because you couldn't imagine something that horrible happening to you. You think everyone's life is just as easy as yours or should be but in reality, nobody really has it easy.
Like yes, I have somewhat of money and I'm very blessed to be fully independent but don't belittle me because our living and family situations aren't the same. Like you're close with your mom but I'm semi-close to my mom because growing up I grew up as unwanted so it's hard for me to accept when I'm actually wanted and loved by someone. So sorry if that burst your bubble but you gotta get out more and learn a thing or two about how the real world works instead of hiding behind the screen and not seeing things for how they really are. I just don't understand how me opening up about a very sensitive topic which I only ever talked about to my therapist made you feel the need to attack me? Like this is exactly why I told you I don't like to be open and bring up things from my past it just doesn't go anywhere good after it's out there. You literally used it against me and then said sorry as if I was just supposed to get over it like if anything it made me wanna completely erase you from my life. But then I'd be the ass and then you'd just end up hating me for sure and have a reason to make me the bad guy in the relationship for sure.
But hey if you were trying to make me out to be the bad guy in all of this then you got your wish because
1. We aren't together anymore
2. I'm losing interest in you
3. I have zero time for you now
4. Wishing you the best but please don't bother remembering me
5. Please get a better life and find your own happiness instead of relying on others
That's all I have to say. I have nothing left to give or take from this. Things are done and the bridges are burnt so why don't you just swim back to whatever hell hole it is you came from and stay there. There's nothing left of this / us. So please do yourself a favor and go find your happiness that you claimed so highly of me draining you of with someone else and give them the same experience you gave me and see how long they stay!!