Mak

Don't Bother Testing Out My Love! No matter how much you try to get to know me for the real me and disregard all my flaws. My past mistakes will soon come back to haunt me to the point of realization that you're only hurting yourself for staying with me and putting up a fight to keep us as one. I've never felt so alone with someone til you said you loved me. Those words don't do me any good. Instead, it just proves to me I did something worth your time only to soon see how long I can keep it up without fucking it up and that's just too much pressure for me to maintain. I feel like when someone tells me that they love me it causes me to act a certain way just to keep that feeling in play and it's just so tiring to have to be someone I'm not just so you can be happy. I'm steady doing my own thing then you call and ruin just about everything that I have going on and it sucks that I have to feel so hostile toward you. I found a way to end it all between us t...

Will It Ever End? I'm truly sorry for what's about to be said but I don't want to keep acting as if I'm doing well. I've been struggling a lot lately and I don't ever tell anyone about the things I'm going through due to the judgment and criticism afterwards. So I stay quiet and out of everyone's way. I like to be on my own most of the time and not have to feel anything. I go mute because I'm scared of slipping up and saying something that'll put me in a hospital. So I limit myself to the things I say and people think I'm upset with them when I'm not. I'm just struggling to find myself to open up and have a conversation with them. I'm dealing with so many fucked up things on my part that I can't even look at some people the same way as I used to. I'm blaming myself for other people's problems knowing it can easily be resolved with just some time and patience. I feel like I'm losing myself with everything I'm do...

Trying My Best To Move On & Do Better for Myself So   these past few days I’ve been keeping pretty busy and focusing on the things that make me happy and unfortunately I ended up reaching to someone (ex) that shouldn’t have just to make sure they were okay and then completely forgot about there existence once again because I’m just back to being on the go and not having the time or energy for sit downs and explaining my every doing. So we chatted after I got off work while I was running some errands yesterday and I come home just to goto bed at 6pm and wake up at 10am this morning. So I got about a good solid 14hrs of sleep and started my day off by taking and shower and heading to my moms house for a day trip to Washington that’s right up the road from me with my dog tagging along. So we finally end up getting there and I’m already taking a pic of cars and what not because who wouldn’t want a picture of a Dodge Viper V10 like be so for real. So I get done taking pics and go ba...