Blog Post 298

Trying My Best To Move On & Do Better for Myself

So these past few days I’ve been keeping pretty busy and focusing on the things that make me happy and unfortunately I ended up reaching to someone (ex) that shouldn’t have just to make sure they were okay and then completely forgot about there existence once again because I’m just back to being on the go and not having the time or energy for sit downs and explaining my every doing. So we chatted after I got off work while I was running some errands yesterday and I come home just to goto bed at 6pm and wake up at 10am this morning. So I got about a good solid 14hrs of sleep and started my day off by taking and shower and heading to my moms house for a day trip to Washington that’s right up the road from me with my dog tagging along.

So we finally end up getting there and I’m already taking a pic of cars and what not because who wouldn’t want a picture of a Dodge Viper V10 like be so for real. So I get done taking pics and go back to walking around with my dog and we meet this guy and he offers me to play chess with him and his pals. I win somehow miraculously and say good game and then go get some food with my mom and my dog. I got a chicken taco and a side dish (basically same thing but in a dog form) so my dog could eat with us. The staff was very friendly and took a liking to my dog. So we get done with lunch and I walk back to the guys that I was playing chess with to see what they were upto and asked if I wanted to play again and I was like sure and well as it came to my surprise I ended up winning once again. So I was pretty proud of myself considering I’ve never played chess before. I’ve only ever played checkers so for me to win two games back to back is pretty cool.

So I get back to my moms and end up taking the fattest nap ever and holy fuck I bout passed out due to the low iron in my body. So I ended up getting some food and I ended up leaving to go to target just for shits and giggles and I ended up walking out bc I was simply just bored of being there. So i walked to Dunkin to get a coffee and on my way back I saw some cars and knew exactly who was there so I walk over and start checking out some of the cars and met some other cool and new people. So I stayed for a few extra hours and just got to know some people and what they had and what was under the hoods of there cars. Some were stock and some were modded so you know!!! 

But overall today was a pretty good day. Not sure when I’ll be back to my official self but I felt pretty good about myself the whole day and less stressed and anxious. I felt like I was letting go of a lot throughout the day which is good considering letting go of things isn’t my strong point. It’s just interesting how going no contact with someone I used to talked to every day and letting them know about everything  and anything to just doing things without letting anyone know about it. Feels pretty pointless but I guess I’m still learning how to just be happy on my own and not having to validate my happiness for others. So I guess you can say I’m trying my best to do what’s right. I just gotta get used to not having to share my day with someone anymore. Feels wrong but it’ll be fine. It always is.