Blog Post 301
When The Truth Comes Out
It's pretty fucked up how I can look you up and down and feel all the butterflies in my stomach but when you get to talking they all disappear and I wish I knew why that was. Because you're not a bad person it's just maybe my body is telling me that I'm no good for you. Hence, I shut my feelings down every time you get close to me so I don't fuck things up with you. I get that if you want to get close to me it's your right but at the same time doing that might get you hurt so I gotta keep my distance and watch what I say when it comes to you because at the end of the day, I can tell you're a good one and I'm not trying to make you think you aren't. I can tell there's something special about you but my mind is keeping me from finding out because I don't think I'm ready for you and everything you have to offer.
My heart and mind are willing to give it a go with you but I feel as if I went for it with you I'd just make another mistake and I don't wanna be a mistake in your life especially not when I can't seem to escape your presence. You're constantly running in the back of my head hoping that you're safe and well only to see you smiling and doing that lil smirk when I walk on past you with a wave every chance I get when I see you. I wish we had more time to talk but the little talks we do have when we're around each other mean more to me than you'll ever know and I know I shouldn't have all the conversations that we've had memorized but I do and I guess it's my fault for trying to not be forgetful about the things you tell me.
You have my full attention even on the days when I'm not trying to deal with others but for you, my time will always be available. I want us to be cool and see eye to eye on a lot of things but at the same time I don't wanna make you feel like you're suffocating around me so I might go off on my own and let you do what you need to do but if you're ever alone and need to talk let me know through call or text and I'll be on my way no matter the time or distance. You're the only one I'm currently putting all my time and energy into and I know that can be a bit stupid and draining but it's what makes me happy and I just wanna see you be happy because that smile of yours be getting me all geeked up and I'd hate for you to lose your smile and happiness all because of my mistakes.