Mak

It's 11:11 So Here's My Wish You'll probably never see me ever again but I just need you to know that I made a wish and it was for you to live a long-lasting life hoping everything would go your way. I didn't mean to come into your life that random Wednesday afternoon and ruin your perception of me. I guess I was scared to talk to you knowing that you were everything I needed at the time. So forgive me for what I'm bout to say in this post. It was never fully my intention to lead you on or make you feel unwanted. I was just lost in time thinking about you only to realize me not doing anything about it is what drove us apart. I should've stayed and asked you for your number but I just laughed it off and walked away knowing me and you would be one hell of a couple only problem was I wasn't ready for someone like you. I felt as if I had stuck to my heart and asked you out it would have only hurt you in the process. I wasn't sure if my doings at the time wer...

Only Cared to Love the Ones Who Left I guess it’s pretty fucked up for me to go and write about this sort of thing but if it’s true then what’s the harm in it? I don’t care for the ones who tend to stay it’s always the ones who leave without a trace! Makes me wonder what their deal was for coming into my life and then dipping out of the blue! It’s like a drug I can’t sustain! I’m always finding a way to fall in love with someone new just for them to ruin me in the end! But I guess it’s just the thought of getting them to be with me that made it worth my wild! It’s easy for me to get so caught up with someone only to get bored with them because I only see the good in them so their flaws never seem to be a problem for me until it’s too late! I wish I could love the ones who stay but I see no point in that when there’s nothing really special about them in my eyes! My feelings only get stronger for someone when they leave and tell me it’s for the best! I get it, it's pretty fucked up h...

You Say... Please don't front when I tell you that I'm not looking for you or anything you have to offer. You did the thing I asked you not to and now you're stuck trying to find a way to explain to me why you did it as if I'll sit here and listen to your excuse. You got me so fucked up right now that I told you this shit won't end the way you wanted it to. So for you to do it anyways just proved my point all along. You couldn't be trusted and as much as I tried to see the best in you it just simply wasn't good enough. You went and treated me the way you wanted with no second thought only to find out I'm much better off being on my own anyway. So now you're thinking of a way to make yourself relevant to my life again knowing damn well you're out of sight and out of mind and no longer a priority of mine. So for you to keep reaching out and following me like a lost dog is beyond my comprehension. I gave you all the love and care that I had to give ...

I'm No Longer Yours to Keep You called me yours for the first time in a long time but I’ve seen where this leads all before! So if I may I’d appreciate it if you took the baby back and told me the truth about how I’m not really yours! Because of how you treated me there’s no way you were ever really mine to have and I wasn’t yours to keep! So please don’t play these mind games when we both know how this ends! It’s not fair that you go out of your way to keep me in the unknown when everyone else around you has all the answers to what’s happening and I’m stuck deep in thought asking myself what’s the point of all of this and coming out empty-handed! Because let’s be honest! There’s no point in me trying anymore when you’re letting go of me but you just don’t want it to be known even though I’ve got you all figured out knowing if I stay with you you’ll only break me from the inside out and I’m not about that! So please don’t come looking for me when I end up walking away from you! I c...

Lie to Me Once More... Can I go ahead and ask you one more favor even if that favor seems stupid to where it’ll make you do a double take? I need you to lie to me about the way you really feel and tell me how you hate me to where you wish I never existed in your life so we can both be better off with our own doings and leave each other be?! I can’t help but see you in a different light every time I look at you and it’s killing me knowing how badly I fucked up with you! I tried to convince myself to stay and fix the things I broke but in the end, there was nothing more I could do because the damage we both caused was too far gone to be put back together! The door remains unlocked and opened for the both of us but by the looks of it, there’s no point in going through it! You tell me that you need me but then push me out the way when I get too close and I’m stuck asking myself what was that for only to realize you don’t like the feeling of me being close to you because of all the trauma y...

I Saw You Twice Just to Never See You Again! Hey, I’m sorry if I made you sick to your stomach for thinking we could be something more! But I guess your texts and calls meant otherwise! I felt like I knew everything you had to offer from the moment I laid my eyes on you but then you went and left which left me all confused and lost as to what it could have meant! But I guess it’s my fault for letting you walk alone to clear your head and leaving me to cry my heart out that night!  Everything I felt and knew about you seemed to have just been fading right before my eyes and as much as I tried to capture and save every memory and moment it was all too late! It felt like every promise that we had made to one another was simply being broken and lost to where everything around me just started to not make sense anymore! I tried to fight off the feeling of losing you but nothing seemed to work! So I sat back hoping that you’d come back through the door you left! But nothing happened! So I...

He Looks Better with You You’ll probably hate me for saying all the things I’m about to say but what’s the point of hiding it anymore when it’s clear I’m no longer what you need?! I just don’t see the point of holding on when it hurt like hell finding myself and what I want in life. I tried to get you to listen but you just went and did what you did best which was disregarding every word I said and went about your day! Which is fine, but I didn’t think you going out of your way and reaching out to him would have even crossed your mind! But I guess I was right for thinking you’re just like everybody else in this world! Always looking for the next best thing instead of sitting down and just talking it out and finding a way to resolve the situation! But who am I kidding?! I’m living in a generation full of fools and cold-hearted fuckers that nobody seems to care to understand what’s right and what’s wrong when in it comes to being in a serious relationship with someone! You go and tell me...

I Didn't Mean to Waste Your Time! I get that I will never change my habits when it comes to you so just let me know how you want me to be and I’ll be just that! Just don’t leave me stranded out here on my own just to watch me fall from a distance! Got me calling your phone thinking you’ll pick up but it’s just a dial tone on the other end! So how are you gonna tell me to call you when your phone isn't even on?  Got me so confused as to what you even meant by that! So now I’m stuck on the corner of your street trying to get a hold of you just to see you with some other guy! Got me thinking it was just a one-time thing but when I go asking bout the guy you were with people tell me he’s not new and you’ve been with him since before my existence in your life! So now that I have this info I can go ahead and leave you to it! Cause I’m not the one to get between someone else’s relationship when you seem happier without me! So tell me how you planned on telling me your deepest secrets ...

I Gave it My All, Just to Not Feel Anything Afterwards! I'll never come to terms with how you treated me when I needed you the most and it's okay. I was never really sure about you anyways. It's just a shame you told me to call you in my darkest times just for you to tell me to stop calling I'm busy. I guess it's my fault for feeling so down to the point where nothing seems real to me anymore and I'm so lost in the thoughts that everything I say is just getting me a one-way ticket to the psych ward. I was in tears trying to figure out who to talk to about the things I was feeling and going through just to find out I had nobody to go to.  It's pretty clear that my time is up and nobody is around to see me in my most vulnerable state and honestly it's okay with me. Because the thought of not knowing how everyone would feel once I'm gone no longer lingers in the back of my head when you just proved my answer. So I hope it's okay if I just take this ...

180 Down the Freeway Just to Escape the Pain and Tears I guess when they told me to live fast die young I took it way too seriously and let the car do all the work while I just sat back and applied my foot to the gas pedal and she took off. I don't care about the cops pulling me over, maybe they can help me not feel so guilty and sad about the pain I've caused to those I loved the most. You can tell by the way I'm feeling and thinking that this isn't going to end the way you want so just sit back and let it happen even if it's not our time yet. Let's just do it one last time and laugh it off at the finish line wherever that may be. There's no telling when I'll stop or where this road that we're on will lead us but if it's somewhere safe and out of the way of everyone then I'm down to see the end of it. I have people telling me they wanna see me do my thing but the only thing I know how to do is drive fast and let my pain do all the talking wh...

I Don't Even Know Anymore! Why must you come to me asking me about who it is I like or let alone see an interest in? When you know every time I want someone to be mine and get to know them they leave me in the process. I'm too into my own doings that trying to make time for someone new will only cause chaos in my life. It's not that I'll treat them wrong or not be there when they need me. It's just I know how my brain and body operates around new people and especially those who are trying to be intimate with me. It's such a battle trying to distract myself from other people when all I really crave and need is someone to show me they care about me and are glad to see me. That's really it. I don't care for the fake shit or the only being around when it's convenient for them. I just want to find something pure and genuine with someone so I'm not stuck having to wonder about them and their doings. I just need someone I can trust and simply just love ...

You'll Shine Brighter When I'm Not Around! I know this is going to hurt you way more than it hurts me but it’s just easier if I come out and tell you how I really felt about you all this time even though my time is almost up! There’s no need for me to keep it as a secret because by the time you see this and understand it I’ll be long gone to where you’ll be asking about my whereabouts knowing I no longer exist on this planet! I tried so hard to do the right thing with everyone I’ve ever met but in the end, I just messed it up and blamed myself for all the mistakes that went on and kept the anger built up inside me to a boil! I didn’t care to express the ways I truly felt around the people that I cared about because the rage and pain I felt would have never made them see me the same way they once knew me! Watching someone I love see the other side of me hurts like hell because it’s a side of me I hide so well and when it comes out I lose all control and my emotions don’t stop sp...

Fuck You in My Lane For, When I Ain't Worried Bout a Damn Thing You can go ahead and get up out my face and stop checking up on me when your whole existence is dead to me! I don’t need you in my way bringing me down every chance you get! You’re being kind of weird and it’s pissing me off to where I wanna pull up on your house and go completely off! But I know I’m better than that so I’ll chill out and let you come to me!  Because knowing me when I see you it’s on sight! So if I hit you out the blue and you get dropped to the ground that’s between you and whoever finds you! Cause I promise you the way I’m feeling right now isn’t the best feeling! So go ahead and try that stupid shit with me and I promise you, you won’t ever see me the same ever again!  You and I are good where we are right now but don’t fucking go out of your way and try to cross that line because shit will escalate and I’ll show you why I isolate myself from people who think they can just treat me any sort of ...

Running In Circles Trying to Escape the Thought of You I really wanna make this as easy and as self-explanatory as possible! I don’t want there to be any confusion as to who this is about and what it is they mean to me! Just note after this they’ll be in my book of right person wrong time! So please don’t get all mad over this and that when I’m just doing what I do best! Not trying to linger over the thought of them any longer. I just wanna say what’s on my mind and in my heart and let go of it all without a tear in sight! So let’s get into it! Ugh, the fact that you made me feel all these things just to leave me empty-handed is so annoying! You were literally an angel but with a dark side I didn’t see coming and it’s my fault for letting my guard down to let you in! But I can see that even angels have dark motives and for you to prove that to me right in front of my face as I stood there asking you not to you did it anyways! So I ran out the door only to come back running into you on ...

No Limits When It Comes to You You keep wanting to play catch up but what exactly is it that you're trying to catch up to? I can see you from a distance doing your thing but then you trip and fall only to get back up and run the other way from the start and for what? You just need to keep going from where you left off and not look back. Stop making some kind of excuse for this and that when you got it all on lock for what you need to do. You go out of your way to please others but never yourself and I know it's not my place for me to say that but it's pretty obvious that's what you're doing.  If you could just fall back and worry about pleasing yourself only then you'd probably cross that finish line and off to live the better life that you've always hoped for. But instead, you keep running back to the beginning and tripping over the dumbest shit I've ever seen. But like I said it's not my place to say anything. So I'll step to the side and let y...

Don't Wipe Your Tears On Me I get it the title sounds a bit fucked up but that's how I felt that night when we were driving down the interstate. You were crying and screaming at me as I was doing 80+ down the freeway and trying to focus on not crashing but at the same time trying to figure out why you were going off on me. It's not like it was my doing for how you acted. All you did was call me up asking me to come get you so that's what I did only for you to get in my car and 30 minutes later you got to crying. Like what the hell was that all about? You didn't even seem to be bothered by anything so I'm just trying to figure out what it was that had you all upset. I spoke to your boyfriend beforehand to see what was up and why he couldn't just have given you a ride but he didn't know either. But he wanted to make sure you were okay and I told me to just come get you, so I did just that. I wasn't sure what the whole vibe was for the night but it sure...

Don't Forget to Laugh Even When It Hurts Heart beats but tears come falling down. Yet you're still in front of me asking what it is I'm crying about when it's because of you. I just don't have the guts to tell you. So I push you to the side and wipe my tears away. Thinking to myself there's no need for this. So I smile back and act as if it's nothing even though you're literally everything I want but I'm not sure how to say it without making it seem all awkward. So I walk back to you and end up getting closer to you with every inch there is just to get a feel for how you really feel about me and all I can hear is your heart beating rapidly while mine is frozen in time. I look you in your eyes to see how long we'd make eye contact for just to get lost in time and smile away. I know there's no need for the he loves me, he loves me not phrase but at this point, I can't really tell anymore. The way you move and speak is so precise yet still c...

Missing You Like Hell… But I Gotta Keep My Distance! I know I never officially said goodbye to you and come to think of it I don’t think I ever will when it comes to you! It’s not because you did anything wrong or anything like that! I just don't feel right saying goodbye to the one I still love! I know it doesn’t make much sense right now but I can do my best to explain it! Basically, I looked at your most recent and I got to thinking that yeah you’re the one I let get away but I know it was for the best of us! You’re clearly back with them and that’s totally cool with me since we were only talking for a minute but it would’ve been easier on me if you had just told me that you were waiting for them to come back so I didn’t have to hate myself and end up wanting to change everything about me after all the things you made me feel! But I forced myself to just let the feelings go even at the times when I still missed you! But I know saying my goodbyes to you wouldn’t last forever sinc...

Am I Wrong? / What the Fuck! I've never been in this sort of position and I'm not denying the fact I don't like it but if someone were to ask me if I would ever do something like this again... I'd say yeah, even if it meant hurting those closest to me. Cause what the fuck do you mean this and that person are off limits when I'm much older now and it's what I'm into and they have the thing I'm looking for. Like, be so for real. Just because you think they're this and that doesn't mean I can't go out of my way and find out for myself? They were literally the sweetest and I felt safer being around them than I did with you, and that is saying a lot right there. So don't come yelling in my phone about how I should stay away from them when I needed you at one point and you were nowhere to be found. So when I go out of my and reach out to someone else who could offer what I was seeking you wanna get mad? Be so frrr!!! I literally felt more mysel...

Does He Know?.. Look I get that this isn't the best way to go about this but, he needs to know that he's going to lose everything he knows about you if he gets in the way of me and you. I could give him a play-by-play as to what you mean to me but he'll just get mad and cause a scene. So I'll do what I do best and just make it known on here and send it his way. I can tell he's the type to love you hard but he's going to feel all sorts of confusion thinking that you'll leave him for me one day when that's not going to be. You're meant to be with her and I'm just meant to be by her side for the day she falls.  You can teach her all the things there are to life but when she needs that shoulder to cry on or a random day to just let it out she'll come to me and express the things she can't say to you. So give her the time and space that she asks for. She's not like these other girls that you can just pick and choose from. You have to be ge...

Just Another Heartbreak Heard Around the World You know exactly what it is you do so just walk away and let me fall! You do it way too often for me to see the good in you but I still hold on to you thinking there’s something worth holding on to! But in reality, I’m just causing myself more pain than comfort and I’m okay with it at this point!  I think the pain is what keeps me around even though I know the things you do aren’t really good for me! I just hate the thought of letting go knowing I’ll regret the thought of losing you! Someone like you can easily bury me 6ft under and I wouldn’t care to wonder as to why it happened! It’s just sometimes I feel like it’s easier to walk away and let you be but then I think to myself that you’re still mine so I run back and figure things out with you! I hate the feeling of being a waste of time and space but at the same time that’s all I feel when it comes to you and I know it’s not right for me to say or feel like that but I just feel like ...

Sort of Glad You're Gone I feel like I could have just called you about the things I’m bout to say but I don’t wanna stutter my words when I tell you this but I just need you to know how much of a life changer you were when you stepped into my life that one Sunday afternoon! There’s just so much to say but also there’s nothing to say that you don’t already know! I guess what I’m trying to say is you know how I feel about you and what it is I wanted with you but I can see that my feelings had no value when it came to you! So I just stuck to the sidelines and watched you be you!  I could see your eyes wandering off every time we went somewhere and I just felt so unbothered by it because I lowkey expected it from you! So I let you wonder about that other person and maybe me telling myself that you’re better off being with them wasn’t the best decision but it’s whatever! You clearly seemed to have gotten what you wanted and I got saved from the pain that I would have felt if I had stay...

Not Replacing, Just Erasing! You keep blowing up my phone knowing damn well my shit stays on dnd! You keep taking up so much of my time that I just lost control! But now that I’m back on the road you keep texting me thinking that we’ll see each other when that’s far from it! I don’t feel a thing when it comes to you so while I’m out and clearing my head from all the toxic thoughts you made me think of I hope you take the time to realize that there’s nothing left of us when I get back home! You can go and argue with me all you want but I know what you did and it’s not my place to say. But just know they all know and when it came back to me I just said bet and made my decision to cut you off! So by all means you can say you're sorry all you want but it won’t change the fact that you went out of your way and did what you did and not only did it make its way back to me it made its way to people outside of my group of friends! So clearly whatever you did it’s clear you meant for it to h...

I Hate Goodbye's You might not be the one for me right now but I've got something on my mind about you that you should take the time and read about because it might make you realize how I really felt about you even though the time we had was short-lived. It's not my intention to erase the good or the bad when it came to you and me but at the same, I've gotta go my own way and figure this shit out for myself even though your number is still in my phone hoping that one day when I call you'll pickup and we'll catch up on life and tell each other the things we've been holding back on saying. But in the meantime, I'll let you know the things I've been thinking about and the things I wish I could say to you right now. I wish I could hold you one last time and cry out all the pain I felt when you left that day. I wish I could take back all the pain and hurt you felt when things didn't go your way. I wish I could lay down next to you and feel your skin o...

Get It Right or Don't Come Back... Is What I Said! You tell me not to worry but then you go and do the shit that upsets me! I tried to give you the benefit of the doubt but it just kept on repeating! Time after time and eventually I got tired of the back-and-forth with the yelling and fighting over the most basic shit when we both know you knew better!  But yet you’re out doing the shit you do just to come back to me thinking I wouldn’t mind it! But I got people reaching out to me a bunch of times about this and the third about you and I just ignore it all because the thought of you actually doing those things hurts more than you actually telling me about all the things you’re out doing when you’re not around me! So I just sit there deep in thought while you talk thinking to myself that everyone’s lying about you! But then I get the screenshots and I get butterflies in my stomach from the pain I feel but I can’t say anything or react in front of you because you’ll just go off on me...

My Tears Will Never Fall For You I’m no longer sure where we stand in this moment that we have right now! But if it’s not by your side then I don’t think I wanna keep a smile on my face and act as if everything is fine! I’m only at my best when you’re around or just in line of sight of what I’m doing! I know we may not always see eye to eye on certain things but I’m always going to see eye to eye when your feelings are involved and whenever you need to vent to me! I just don’t wanna be the reason your eyes are shedding tears!  Knowing that it was my doings that caused your tears to fall is so upsetting to me! I never meant to be the one to make you cry but now that you’re telling me it was because of me I’m no longer sure what to say! I feel as if I’m just drifting off like the clouds in the sky! Trying to keep my mind at ease when your eyes were in tears just never sat right with me! I get you wanted me to be strong for you but to be honest, I don’t think I wanna be the strong one...

They Will Never See What I See When It Comes to You I know it’s not my place to talk to you about this sort of thing but the way I’ve been feeling towards you is far beyond my comprehension! I try to keep my cool but every time I look at you I’m lost for words as to what to say! I get it, we can talk nonstop when we’re over the phone but in person, I’m just stuck thinking about the thought of you and how amazing you look regardless of how tired you are with me! You’re perfect just the way you are and I know it’s not my place to tell you that face to face but I hope one day you’ll realize how perfect you are to me.  There’s no one better in my head to feel this way about other than you! So let me be the one to take your hand and show you what you really mean to me! I know this feeling isn’t going to go away anytime soon so let’s just make the most of it and hopefully, it’ll be worth our wild!  I want to see you be at your happiest, even if it means moving from state to state to...

You and I Can Never Be...Even Though You're the One Who Set Me Free I know that there’s no one better who can love me the way that you once did! Even if I was to try to find the love I once had with you it would never feel the same! I’d go back to you every time even on the days I’d have zero interest in. I’d end up losing everything I built with you just to see you live forever even if it means letting go! I know that letting go is such a pain but the love I have for you will always be around! Even in the dark and misty nights, I pray that you’ll still shine bright so I can find you In your darkest times! I just wanna let you know that this road I chose to take may not lead me back to you! But I’ll cross that bridge, take that flight, and jump the fence just to see your smile every chance I get! The time and distance will never get the best of us even though some days it seems like that’s all it’s doing! I do my best to do my part to love you better every day but I can see it’s ju...

Thanks For Finding Me I normally don’t do this sort of thing! But I’m taking this time to tell you thank you for finding me and letting me be who I really am even though we didn’t have much time together! I know it seemed like things were going in slow motion at the time but when reality set in our time together was no more! I wish I could rewind the clock to the first time I laid my eyes on you just so I could know everything there was about you once again! You had the perfect smile with the wavy hair to the point where you were picture-perfect in my head! Every time I looked at you I would automatically get lost in those icy blue eyes of yours and just think to myself what a catch you are! But somehow somewhere you ended up leaving and I ended up crying because I didn’t understand why this sort of thing was happening when the only thing I was feeling was pure happiness with you! I thought I left the sadness behind me once I found you but I guess it made its return for the final finis...

I Wish I Could Believe It..But I Can't I know this might sound wrong but I get that I was never on your mind to begin with but when you told me that I was going to be the love of your life I had to take a step back and realize that’s a lie because we were never even dating! You tried to tell me step by step of this and that only to make me wanna steer further away from you! I guess the fear in my head kicked in of you potentially leaving after discovering all my flaws when you weren’t even concerned about my doings! So as I sat there listening to you talk your head off about me and the future we would have I kind of just laughed it off because I knew this was just another life lesson so let me just sit back and watch it all play out! I have this thing when people claim to see a future with me I be pressing the fast-forward button in my head and watching it all play out only to find out it comes crashing down 4 months in because of how easily drained and broken I can get from all th...

You've Got Me Slipping Away The fact that you’ve been stuck on my mind for the past few days since we last talked all because we chose to go our separate ways is just so unhealthy for my mental state. But at the same time, I don’t mind it! You were the best I ever knew just for you to slip away even though my feelings are still intact for you! But I guess it’s for the best if we just cut our losses and go about our lives as if we never met only to find ourselves crossing paths every now and then with a smile on our faces knowing there’s something more between us two! But we’re both too scared to find out because I’m the one who chose to respect your doings and you were the one who chose to walk away so I guess we’re even! I wanted to fight for us but I knew it wouldn’t have made much sense to do since we were just getting to know one another but now that I’m looking back I feel like it was a big mistake to let you slip away when you were all I needed at the time! You got me second-...