Blog Post 323

Thanks For Finding Me

I normally don’t do this sort of thing! But I’m taking this time to tell you thank you for finding me and letting me be who I really am even though we didn’t have much time together! I know it seemed like things were going in slow motion at the time but when reality set in our time together was no more! I wish I could rewind the clock to the first time I laid my eyes on you just so I could know everything there was about you once again! You had the perfect smile with the wavy hair to the point where you were picture-perfect in my head!

Every time I looked at you I would automatically get lost in those icy blue eyes of yours and just think to myself what a catch you are! But somehow somewhere you ended up leaving and I ended up crying because I didn’t understand why this sort of thing was happening when the only thing I was feeling was pure happiness with you! I thought I left the sadness behind me once I found you but I guess it made its return for the final finish and you just happened to be the cause of my sadness! I wish I could get rid of the sadness but I know that’s for me to figure out for myself and to find the things that make me happy besides the thought of us.

I don’t wanna go back to reaching out to you when things are good between us two from a distance! I will remain grateful for letting you into my life but at the same time if I had known your absence was going to hurt this bad I would’ve begged you to stay! But that’s not who I am! I don’t beg people to stay! I’ll only fight for them and fight for the relationship to work! I would have gone out of my way to change every flaw about me just to make you happy. I would’ve gone through the deepest parts of space to give you the world you deserve! But you never gave me the chance and that’s okay! Not everything is meant for me and I guess you were proof of that. But, sadly, you had to be a prime example of that when I was at my happiest next to you.

But I don’t wanna make this be a bad thing. I think this is just life doing life things! I found someone who brought out the best in me which I haven’t seen or felt in a long time but the timing was just a tad bit off I guess! So in the meantime I’ll continue my search for the one who’s truly meant for me and keep working on my flaws so when I finally meet them they’ll see the progress I’ve made to be the one they can fully trust and love to their fullest. I’m not sure how long I’ll have to find this person but from where I’m at in life right now I’m in no rush! I’m healing the pain away and working on the parts of me nobody likes! So until then, I’ll steer clear from the one my heart desires, and maybe one day I’ll find them and get it right the first time with no questions asked!