Blog Post 349

You Say...

Please don't front when I tell you that I'm not looking for you or anything you have to offer. You did the thing I asked you not to and now you're stuck trying to find a way to explain to me why you did it as if I'll sit here and listen to your excuse. You got me so fucked up right now that I told you this shit won't end the way you wanted it to. So for you to do it anyways just proved my point all along. You couldn't be trusted and as much as I tried to see the best in you it just simply wasn't good enough. You went and treated me the way you wanted with no second thought only to find out I'm much better off being on my own anyway. So now you're thinking of a way to make yourself relevant to my life again knowing damn well you're out of sight and out of mind and no longer a priority of mine. So for you to keep reaching out and following me like a lost dog is beyond my comprehension. I gave you all the love and care that I had to give but then you go and do some stupid shit where I lost all my fucks to give about you.

You see the problem was never me. It was you thinking you could go out of your way and sleep with some other guy when I knew long before you even left the driveway. So please don't try and spin the block knowing your shit is packed and out the door waiting for you. Don't be out here claiming I kicked you out for no reason when the reason is pretty obvious. I told you I'm not the one to play with when it comes to cheating. But no you went and did your thing just to find out there's no room for you to talk to me anymore. So stop with all the lies and the ugly crying and just get out of my life. I don't care about this shit anymore. You've wasted enough of my time to where I'm asking myself how I'm getting the lost time that you wasted back. It's such a shame honestly. I guess society only cares to show me everything that's wrong with it and the reasons as to why I shouldn't fucks with it day by day. So really it's my fault for thinking it would get better when in reality it's just getting worse by the day.

You come telling me that I can trust you right off the bat but my trust isn't given out right away. You need to prove to me I can trust you and if you lie to me just one time then all my trust and respect for you just ends up going right out the window. Because why the fuck are you having to lie to me in the first place when I can easily go and find shit out for myself when shit isn't adding up? Like, be so for real right now!! If I wanted you to lie to me I wouldn't be standing here asking you to explain yourself when I could simply just leave you be and not worry about your doings. It's one thing to lie to me but it's another if you're simply just not telling me the things you're doing to save me from the pain. So just keep it to yourself if you're out here doing some sneaky shit behind my back but while you're at it pack your shit and don't bother coming back. For the sake of my mental health.