Blog Post 355
When You Were with Me
Not sure how else to put the things I think about into words when it comes to you but just know everything I’m about to say is the reason why I loved you from the moment I laid my eyes on you!
I understand my time with you was sweet and short but nothing could have prepared me for the way I felt towards you! I kept you close to me because I knew the world around you wasn’t safe! So if anything happened to you I’d be right there to help you with whatever situation that came across! I knew that there was something special about you that needed to be seen and acknowledged! The way you spoke your mind and the way your smile brightened up my day just made everything around me seem so peaceful! I had nothing to fear or worry about when you were around! The look in your eyes told me everything I needed to know when it came to you and me!
Being with you was a breath of fresh and I couldn’t help but take it all in! I loved the way you loved me and the way you treated me was like no other! I’m kind of sad that you were the first one to ever go out of your way and show me how far someone is willing to go for me to see me happy! It was all new to me! I don’t know why but seeing that side of you while being with me really had me thinking about what else you had in store! But we never got that far because I became too emotional to where my feelings for you started to not make sense and as much as I wanted to keep you around and see where we would go I ended up distancing myself from you and I know I shouldn’t have but my mind was preventing me from hurting you so I just left you alone thinking it was the best decision for the both of us!
I can see that me doing that only hurt me and you in the process! I was just scared!! I got really upset one night for saying something to you and my mind just kept making it worse and worse to where I just drowned myself in the tears I cried out thinking about you! I knew my doings weren’t right and by the morning I felt as if you hated me but I didn’t wanna find out so I just left things to be how they were! I stopped reaching out and deleted our conversation from my phone but kept the photos and just kept myself busy with work and finding a way to express myself through my writing!
I was extremely frustrated about the whole situation that I just kept my notes app open and whenever I felt something I just went in and wrote about that feeling and everything I was thinking about and just let it be! I knew me reaching out wasn’t going to do anything so if you’re wondering why I didn’t it’s because I knew if I had you would have probably just ignored me or worse go off and blocked me! I felt unsure about you and everything we had going for us and I sometimes think it was all a lie only to realize it wasn’t!
My feelings for you were pure from the start I just think our time ran out before we could see it through and it’s okay! Not everything or everyone is meant for us and for things to end the way they did it’s pretty clear that’s what happened! I can live with the thought of that! Nobody was in the wrong other than the timeline itself! Maybe I met you too soon so things ended up shifting away. But for now, my only wish when it comes to you is having the stars realign so we can see each other once again! Because the way you made me feel is something I wouldn’t mind feeling for the rest of my life! But for now, I’m okay with the distance, and wishing you the best! Just don’t feel bad or guilty for the timing not being on our side!