Blog Post 380

Wishing I Could Turn My Feeling Off...

I’m not even sure why I’m back on here but I guess I’m just trying to figure out the thought of you and what it could mean for me! I’m not trying to make it obvious as to how I feel about you but at the same time, I can’t deny the feelings that I’m having when I look at you! Somehow down the line of meeting you, my feelings started forming and now I don’t know what to do! I’m trying to just focus on my doings but then we cross paths and I catch you staring at me making me think some things up only to find out you’re just watching me hoping I’d come talk to you! Only by coming to terms with you and I will never fully be capable of making the first move due to our current situations in life! Which sucks but honestly I’m down to just being a friend of yours and hopefully have us be more than friends if you’re wanting that! But I’m in no rush and by the looks of things and what I’m hearing you’re okay with me making the first move! I just wish I could find the time to do so! Otherwise, I wouldn’t need to tiptoe around this whole situation and hide how I feel about you!

I just know if things go south then I’m not sure what I’d have to do to keep focus and not somehow be distracted from the thought of messing things up with you when I’ll be seeing you daily if I was to try being your friend! I feel like being a friend and having a friend like you would be chill but my problem is my feelings for you have already passed the friend level so I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do as of right now! I guess I’ll distract myself with other things until my feelings die down and I can go about talking and opening up to you without the thought of feeling anything about it! I’m sure talking to you would be helpful for me to figure you out and see if you’re worth my time and if we’re even doable but then again I don’t wanna lose my chance of having something more than a friendship with you if that makes sense! 

I’m unsure about all of this honestly!! Like I said I don’t even know why I’m doing this / putting this out there right now! It’s just I find you to be attractive yet so elegant and I want to see what we could be if you gave me a chance! But I don’t want to rush into it / make it seem like I need you when I’m just wanting to test the waters with you! We have similar interests in things, but how well we can coexist while doing our hobbies is the main question! Will we argue with one another and try and compete with one another or will we laugh and work on things as one and call it a day?! There are so many unknowns when it comes to me, and you but that’s a chance I’m willing to take if you give me a chance! I’m just trying to show you off and make sure you’re happy! That’s it for now!!