Blog Post 388

I No Longer Feel the Same Towards You

Hey, don't mind me I just need to go ahead and get this out and move on with my own life and doings. So please don't take offense to the things I'm about to say because honestly, it's best for the both of us like you said. It just took me a while to process it all even though I should've stopped thinking things could work between us back then. 

I'm no longer trying to be involved in your life or doings because the lifestyle you wanted to conform me into just isn't me and as much as I tried to please you I was killing my true self in the process and slowly but surely started sight of who I really am. I needed to distance myself from you and the things I knew to get back on track of the things and focus on the things that made sense to me for who I am.

I spent the whole night and day trying to process all the pain and guilt I've been feeling lately and I knew that distancing myself from you and everyone else like you be best for me. I'm not trying to fight it out anymore. I just want to walk away from you and everything I once knew and focus on the better things in life and not have to question myself day after day if the things I have are worth my time and doing. You being in my life was the biggest stress in my life because you were so unpredictable and I couldn't;t stand the thought of not knowing how to work around you.

I had zero feelings towards you and I think that's why I let you do the things you did because you were never a priority for me. Which sounds bad and like I never cared about you but it's not really like that. It's just I was trying to protect myself from the abuse and harm that would come along the way while you were in my life. So I kept things at arm's length just in case I needed to let go and not be in the crossfire of your doings. 

I found a way to ease the pain and thoughts of having you to no longer needing you. I found a way to forgive myself and let go of all the feelings I was feeling when it came to you. That night you came over I knew it was over for real and I felt a sense of relief because I knew I no longer had to stay and make a point or simply put be a bother to you and your life. I found a way to ease the pain and get a good night's rest. 

I'm sorry for letting you know like this but this is the best I could do! Farewell and hope you find the things you've been searching. No need to reach out or anything because my phone is off and I've got nothing left to say to you. Just do you and leave me to do me.