Blog Post 394
Started to Move On
I guess the time we spent together was nothing more than just a game, and that’s cool with me, but don’t sit here and act like there was more to us when there was only a thought and it had nothing to do with me! You basically put yourself in my life thinking I’d accept only to keep pushing you out, but you forced your way in and just stayed, making me feel uncomfortable and annoyed! I told you to leave several times, but you just kept asking why when I told you my reasons for it all! You weren’t the one, and I needed my time alone. You refused to give me the space I needed to heal from all the damage that you caused, so I kept going off and bashing you for all the shit you put me through and only then you thought I was acting out when in reality that’s how I felt towards you and I needed you to get it through that thick skull of yours!
You made me feel so much hate towards you that loving someone else is never going to be an option because I’m scared of hating someone for all the wrong reasons! I keep my distance and tolerance for people very low because I don’t see the point of being with anyone but myself! You fucked with my head so I fucked up your life and made it into a living hell all because you didn’t let me leave/walk out when I needed to! You’re the only one to blame, and I wish I could tell it all to your face, but doing that would be no point! You got what you wanted/needed from me and called me useless afterwards, so why should I bother giving you the time of day to even look my way?!
The only time you took care about me was the time I chose to walk away from it all and you ended up being a whole new person only to realize all that shit you were doing was never going to make me stay! I let you rot away and beg me to stay, knowing I was laughing at how pathetic you were begging me to stay! It was like a joke stuck on repeat, and I just couldn’t get enough of it! I’m sorry, but also not so sorry! I think watching you get what you deserve made me feel some type of joy! Even though it was hurting you lol!
Next time you wanna play chess with a devil like me, make sure your feelings aren’t involved! I play to win, not to lose! I gave you the chances you wanted, but you still lost in the end because my heart and feelings for you were never real! I only use them for leverage, and for you to think I cared and had something real with you is where you went wrong! I never care to show my real feelings! If I did that, you would’ve hated me from the jump, and besides, I just enjoy seeing how much pain I can bring onto others after they hurt me! So thank you for playing into my little game, but your time is done, and I think it’s best if you check yourself into a mental hospital, cause you have hella issues to work out and it’s not with me!!