Blog Post 396

I Only Miss You When It Hurts

If I’m the worst at everything I do then why do you bother staying and acting as if everything I do is fine and well when you keep going back and forth on shit with me on what’s right and wrong in my life?! You say one thing but then do the opposite, making me feel like you’re just playing a game! It’s fucked up how you go off on me about the shit I do when I’m simply just minding my business but when you mind your own you ask me why I’m not fucking with you?! Like huh?! Girl please go seek a therapist or some type of help because this bipolar ass shit you got going on isn’t going to work around me!

It’s making me feel like everything I do is wrong, and it’s hard for me to even breathe around you, and I just can’t take it anymore! You’re all up in my head making me feel some type of way, and I wish I didn’t feel this way! I wish you’d just get out of my head, and I can focus on the things I need to do! But instead I’m stuck hearing bout all my past mistakes and how I should’ve known better when I was just learning from my previous experiences and yet you thought I was doing shit on purpose when in reality I was preventing myself from hurting you! But I guess you didn’t recognize the tears and pain I was holding back! Which is fine because I don’t expect you to understand when I’m feeling hurt or upset since I hide all those things pretty well!

Let’s just call it what it is and go our separate ways! You know I hate the thought of losing you, but if you’re just gonna keep going off on me and pushing me further and further into the unknown, then there’s no need for us to keep in touch. I wish you the best, but right now I just need some space to figure out what you even meant to me, or if you were just a distraction from all my problems, and if that’s the case, then I’m sorry for leading you on like this! I just need to be alone for a minute and figure some shit out! Because the way I feel right now is making me feel like it’s all my fault once again, and I just don’t need this feeling!