Mak

I'm Done & Gone How do I put this so you don't end up reaching out or asking about my whereabouts? I guess the simplest way to go about it is to just let you do the math and connect all the dots as one and go from there. I'm tired of trying to get your attention to explain my pain and why things have to be the way that they are. I don't wanna be the one you think about ever again and think things can be different between us two because nothing you say or do will ever have my attention to have me look your way. I told you that I was going to end up walking away and never to be heard from and making sure you no longer see me is the final step to the process of healing and moving on. I wanted to give you the benefit of the doubt but it's clear to me that you're the reason I'm holding back on everything. I don't blame you for anything that's happened or you thinking that you had something to do with the decisions I made when honestly I made these pla...

Please Don't Make Me Choose Look I love you both but don't make me choose because I'll just end up ghosting the both of you until you can figure out what it is you need and want in life. Don't point fingers at me when all I did these past few weeks was just sit back and observe all the shit that went down and ended up explaining it from start to finish in full detail. So if there were red flags being thrown out I'm sorry, because I've never been the one to sugarcoat shit. So if certain things ended up being said that's not my problem. You should've thought about the shit you were planning on doing before doing it. I understand you guys are young and in different positions but if you really loved her then you wouldn't have had multiple girls in your bed and for the girl I've somehow managed to get close to in just a week I'm sorry that you're going through this but like I said when I first met you that the guy you're seeing he's a ...

Everything That Goes Through My Head When It Comes To You! I know this might be really personal and I should just keep it to myself but I just want you to know that you’ll always be my favorite and even though we no longer talk which is killing me because every time I see you I just wanna ask how you are and just listen to you tell me about how things are. I have no reason to keep hiding how I feel when you can literally look at me and tell that I need you even though I keep telling myself I don’t need you or anyone else! I want to go back to talking with you and have things be picture-perfect for us both. I know we tend to fight and disagree with a lot of things but I’m sure down the line we can work things out! I just need more time with you to get it figured out! I don’t want to keep chasing after something irrelevant to my needs or plans. I wanna be able to talk to you about everything and anything that comes my way. I wanna do random shit and just laugh in your arms. I miss the ol...

Meet Me On the Other Side I hope the person I'm talking about in this, sees this! Can I just go ahead and say that I care about this person more than they'll ever know or care to believe! I know I have a hard time showing and communicating how I feel towards them but that's only because when I see them I go numb and don't have anything to say. I let my eyes do all the talking and just let them do all the actual talking so I don't seem needy or annoying. I want them to know I care but I can never tell them because I feel like if I opened up about how I feel towards them that they'll end up distancing themselves from me and I can't go through another healing stage. I want this person to be in my life but not as a friend or anything. I want them to just be the one I talk about and people ask about on a regular basis. I just always want this person to be around me and have me be around them. No bullshit, or drama, just straight vibes, and laughs. I have no need ...

Never to Be Seen Ever Again // My Final Goodbye! I'm sorry in advance for the things that are about to be said and done after this has been published. I think people who have good intentions and bad intentions for me are about to really find out just how much they don't know about me. I just think it's finally time to call it quits and move on from everyone. I wanna do this in the most respectful and nonchalant way as possible though. I don't want any questions being asked and people wondering if I'm dead or alive because honestly, I'm not even sure if I'll be dead or alive after the things that are about to occur in the next 72 hours. Will I be back or will I finally get my wish and let the demons take full control of all the shit that's been ignored and go after all the people who did me wrong? I wish I could tell the outcome of what's to come but I can't because I don't know. The only thing I'm fully aware of is that nobody is supposed...

My Heart Doesn't Belong to You I get it, you like me and we ended up talking and whatnot, but I personally can't allow myself to get attached to anyone such as yourself or anyone in general. I would physically rather get hit by a truck and be burned in hell than ever get attached to someone who has a beating heart. I don't know why but every time I get attached things just simply go to hell and I'm trying my best to have things just be steady and not so fucked up. That's why I took time off from social media and only stuck to my sites because I was already detoxing from someone who was so bad for me but I really wanted things to work knowing, in the end, it could never be and it just took a toll on me. That person made me realize how much of a waste of time and self-respect goes out the window when it comes to loving someone and being there for them and I'm just not ready to be put back into that position especially when it comes to my mental health. I just rath...

Update on the Shit that's Been Going on Lately! So things have been going pretty well so far now that I've taken some time off social media and deleted primarily all of my accounts other than the accounts I use to promote or simply just post things that matter to me. Such as my blog site and the site where I post all my photos aka "the archive". I've been taking things pretty slow lately. Not really in a rush to be seen or heard so I'm just doing things that I enjoy and staying out of sight basically. I ended up purchasing another camera, but it's from the Canon line instead of the Sony line due to the price and considering I've always wanted one just because. So I ended up buying the Canon g7x mark 2 and I'm already planning on taking it with me everywhere I go since it's compact and basically easy to use now that I spent a whole day figuring out all the settings and setting it up to my liking. But I'm also thinking of getting the Sony ZV-...

I Never Told You So I get that I'll probably never get another chance to see you or be able to talk to you ever again, which is fine because I'm not the one to get attached to others so it's no big deal. But there's just been some shit on my mind that I need you to understand. Even if that means ruining my privacy for the sake of this post. I just really need you to understand that what went down and everything happening the way that it did, I never once cared to hate you for it. I just really wished it had never happened. That was all I really wished. I just wanted to try and fix things with you. I wasn't trying to make things worse for us! It just kind of all fell apart the moment I tried to fix it not knowing where to go. I thought I could just do the normal by communicating with you and see where shit went wrong but we both knew shit was wrong when I tried to make things right with you, knowing damn well things could never be the same as before and I forgot abou...

Back into the Deep End Honestly, I just wanna disappear. I'm not sure how else to explain my needs or wants other than just doing it myself and not mentioning it to anyone. I don't do handouts or anything in that area. So if I need something there's a chance I'm getting it no doubt about it. But certain shit needs to be forgotten and simply just erased from my life and the first thing to go is probably my socials. I don't even use my social media accounts other than to just keep a hold of the username and that's really it. The only app I really use on my phone is YouTube primarily and sometimes Snapchat but that's starting to annoy me with the new update and shit. I understand I have people who need me for certain things but I'm bout to just say fuck it and go ghost. I noticed my snaps have been limited to 1-2 snaps a day and that's only because I don't even check the app first thing in the morning. I wake up and go straight to work. I don't ...

He Can Have You! Please don't take this the wrong way but the title basically says it all. I don't mean it in any way other than me just letting go of you and everything you've ever meant to me. I'm not trying to hold on to you or anything related to you. I'm simply just erasing you from my life and all the memories we made because it's clear to me that I was never good enough for you and I'm okay with that. Not everyone you meet is going to be useful or obligated to fit your needs. So thank you for giving me the chance to be myself but it's time for me to cut all ties and move on from everything that has happened. I just think this life has a different meaning for me and I don't want to be held responsible for dragging you into my life knowing I'm just going to be a burden to you. So if I just let go of all the things we did and everything you meant to me then things will be much better for the both of us. I don't want to be the reason that ...

I Guess Getting Hit By a Car Was All it Took Some things are bound to happen unintentionally and intentionally and you just have to accept it and move on from it all. Nothing you can do or say can change the outcome of what happens. You can only learn from it and hope it doesn't happen again, and if it does happen again then it's a sign to just let it go and move on from it. Don't force it or try to figure out where you went wrong because the answers will always be the same and you won't be able to change it because it's already been done and said. So just move on. Don't bother changing yourself for someone who never saw the good in you, only change for yourself and yourself only. Don't stress about this and that knowing it'll all play out the way you wanted in the end. Just let that stress and nonsense go. Don't put others first that have no business being in your life or just those who don't care about you in general. Just focus on yourself and...