Mak

Been Keeping Low I know I’ve been off everyone’s radar for quite some time now and it’s not because I had a problem or any kind of beef with those around me and those close to me! It’s just I needed time to distance myself and go my own way for a while! I didn’t care to bother reaching out or being seen because I didn’t have anything to say or talk about at the time and I just didn’t feel like being a waste of time for others. So I decided it was best to just keep quiet and stick to the shadows! I didn’t care to respond or acknowledge anyone’s texts or calls because what was I supposed to say exactly? It just didn’t feel right reaching out to anyone! I made the choice and chose to be happy on my own! I didn’t care to stress anyone out with my own personal issues when in reality none of the issues I was having have taken a toll on me since I quit being associated with others! Everything has been smooth sailing since I cut ties with just about everyone!  I might step out here and the...

Ended Up Being Someone Else All jokes aside it wasn't that hard to talk to you. Yeah, I had to watch what was being said and done but overall opening up to you was a lot easier than I expected it to be. I guess it just comes from always feeling like an outcast so I don't tend to open up as much or at all really. Unless it's got some sort of meaning or relevance to what's happening around me that I didn't appreciate or made me feel some type of way. But so far so good. I have zero complaints about us being friends and taking it slow. I just wish we could link up and vibe in person. I get that you have your own life and I have mine and I try my best to not ask questions or get in the way of your doings, but sometimes I just really wanna ask a question about this and that and just talk. But I know that will never happen, at least not right now. I don't think it's safe to ask questions about anything that's going on in your life because I'm not trying to...

Options Overflowing It's crazy to think about the number of people I can hit up to satisfy my needs whenever I need them. So please don't ever think you're the only one I'm fucking with. Yeah, you might be the one I'm with for the moment but after the slightest inconvenience, I'm calling up another and going from there. I don't care to talk about the shit that went wrong. I'd rather just ignore it and go about my day with another one. I don't have to sit back and hear your stupid ass apology. Just pack your shit and leave. You made a mistake and now you're done. Don't bother trying to explain yourself. I've already got my options lined up at the door letting them in so what's the point in you sticking around? You're just gonna end up getting jealous and for what? All because I traded you with someone else? Seems like a cry for help. You can tell to me to fuck myself however many times you want but it won't change the thought o...

Better off as Strangers I never understood how you couldn’t feel anything at all when you left me hurting and didn’t care to ask why! I guess me hiding the pain made it seem like everything was fine between the two of us. But it really wasn’t! I was confused as to why things ended when you were the only one I ever thought about! Nobody else came between the thought of you and the way I let it consume me was my fault. I thought that by making time and clearing out my schedule just for you, you would realize that I’ll always have time for you. But turns out it was such a waste of time! You didn’t care about the things we did or talked about! You just wanted to take and take and I let it happen because I was blinded by the look in your eyes! I guess it’s just the way things go and I ended up falling for it! Silly me thinking things could work between the two of us! What a waste of thought that was! Besides, who am I kidding I should’ve seen it sooner the way you kept denying the smallest ...

Finally Managed to Get My Attention Don't bother denying what happened earlier this morning when I walked in. I didn't mean to cross paths with you but I couldn't help but notice you walking by in front of me looking my way and making eye contact not knowing I'd be thinking of you throughout the day hoping we'd meet again. I didn't care to react or approach you knowing I had no business bothering you but hopefully one day we could get familiar with one another and just vibe. But for now, I'm just gonna go about my business and let you do you. I don't wanna be a bother or make it seem like I'm trying to play games when it comes to you. I genuinely see something in you and want to get to know you for real and not just what you give off when you see me. I want a deeper connection with you but have it where it doesn't feel rushed or forced. I see you often and don't bother saying anything to you because you seem to be busy and just basically doin...

I Can't Deny It Not sure where to begin but I’ll just go ahead and let it be known so that hopefully one day I can get an idea as to what it was I was feeling when it came to you! I get that we’re in different states & different parts of our lives but the way the that I see you it’s more than a friend but also someone I can’t get close to! I care a lot about you but I don’t wanna end up hurting you or myself so I keep it cool and calm when it comes to you! I’m scared that I’ll have to face you and you’re gonna hate me for expressing my true feelings for you even though it’s pretty obvious that I care a lot about you and want the best for you! But I feel like I don’t show you or you think it’s just for show, but it’s really not! It’s just me being cautious and worried about you and how things can go down if it’s not done correctly or timed out right! I somehow managed to fall for you in ways I can’t deny or describe and it’s really put me at a standstill because I know things wi...

For You Only Not sure where to begin when it comes to you. I get that we never seem to catch a break when it comes to us being together or the fact that the chemistry is there but we're both too scared to acknowledge it. I guess the look in our eyes means one thing but the actions and timing mean something else. I get that we're slowly drifting apart and maybe that's what's best for us but before we drift our separate ways completely, there's something you should know because I don't think I'll have it in me to say it to your face.  I've been hiding and avoiding you for quite some time now due to a few factors. I'm trying my best to give you your space and not feel the need to disturb you. I keep wishing that I'd run into you just to see how better off you are without me so I can erase you from my life completely but I've been avoiding the need to be around you so things can be civil and at peace between us two. I don't know if I'm ma...

I'm Over It Almost 4 years (3 years and 11 months) in and I ended up cutting ties just because I saw no point in putting effort into something that was being dragged out to be nothing. So I'm sorry if I didn't give you a heads up or tell you my motives behind the doing. But it just felt unnecessary to explain something that should've been obvious as to why it happened. I had to constantly reach out just to explain my thoughts and feelings about you and how the situation was affecting me and you just didn't really care to acknowledge it. So I let it be for what it was and allowed time to pass us by as if it would work itself out only to find out I would eventually find someone new. I didn't care to explain or mention my doings to you or give you updates on the new people in my life because at the time I was erasing and clearing out all your things from my life knowing I'd never go back to you.  I deleted you from all my accounts and your number as well just b...

Just Sit Back & Watch Honestly, it's just fun to watch at this point. No shade or hate being thrown but just witnessing certain shit that has no business being my business is quite the entertainment. All I ever wanna do is just be by myself and enjoy the isolation but I got hoe's on my dick adding me to group chats that are filled with drama and I just watch it all go down not saying a word to anyone. I love watching it all play out knowing at the end f the night I was never associated with any of it because I technically never responded or bothered to give my two cents at the time. I'm in the clear so can't nobody tell me shit about this and that when I already knew what it was and why it happened. I've got nothing to tell or explain when the details will be out sooner or later depending on how serious the situation is/was. But overall these wack-ass group chats I'm being added to is just so I can make sure nobody is putting my name in shit that has nothing...

Update 2.0 Don’t get me wrong but me going ghost and back to where I feel safe is nothing like how I expected it to be! I’m better off in this environment even though I still have self-doubts about certain things from my past! I don’t bother reaching out or acknowledging anyone anymore just because I don’t wanna risk losing what I have now! I don’t care to be seen or heard from! Yeah, I’m still active here and there on socials but nothing too major! I took a break from photos just so I can focus on my actual work and with the holidays coming up I’m actually having to get some hours in so that’s cool! I’m making plans on purchasing another camera lens for my setup. Thinking of either getting the Sony G 24-105m or just the Sony 24-240m but I’m probably gonna go ahead and pull the trigger sometime within the next week or so and just get the 24-240 since it basically fits all my needs and I’ll never have to swap out or take the lens off my camera unless of course I have dust or just need a...

Didn't Look Back I get that I’m hard to please and make it even harder for others to get my attention but god damn the moment you walked in with your black dress and high heels that was the night everything changed! You had me doing things I’d never do, got me holding the door, drooling on the floor making things right all for you! I couldn’t even help myself but say please and thank you all because you got my attention! I wanted to talk to you all night long and see what could be!  But I knew I couldn’t fall in love because the way the night was going it was all for show and I couldn’t help but stop myself from wasting your time! It felt as if it was just you and I alone in the middle of the dance floor having a good time thinking nothing of it. But eventually, it all changed as it normally does! We exchanged contact info and I ended up saying goodbye and you did the same just to end up looking at me as if we'd see one another again knowing I'll never have another moment w...