Mak

I'm Glad I Met You If someone was to tell me four months ago that we would make it this far and do all the things we did I would've laughed and said yeah right. But four months later and I've never been happier. I'm so lucky to have you in my life and hopefully, you feel the same way about me. I've never felt this way about anyone in a long time. I've been so closed off to the dating scene and trying to be myself cause I was scared of being mistreated and judged. But with you, it's a different story. All I can think about is just being myself and not this other person people claim I am. I'm much happier nowadays knowing I have someone who cares about me and wants to make the most of it even if they are 4h 48m away from me!! I never thought I would be capable of doing a distant relationship but turns out it's pretty chill and easy for someone like me. We just stay on the phone and basically just give updates on everything we're doing and feeling! ...

Untitled 3.0 Feels like I’m losing myself in the process of loving someone else! I love this person without a doubt but surely it’s just a lot to process and get things right when I’m an over thinker and things just end up going south from the jump! I wish I was less of an over thinker and more of an optimistic! I feel like I should just look on the bright side of everything and just ignore the bad! I want things to be picture perfect for the two of us but I have thoughts that somethings off / wrong with us! I don’t feel the same when we’re apart! Feels like waves of sadness just coming in one by one and it won’t end! I never really took the time to understand my feelings when everything was always on the go! I thought if I just kept pushing forward things would catch up but instead it came crashing down upon us and we had to solve it before it broke us apart! I hated every second of last night knowing you went to bed upset when I tried so hard to get it right! I barely got any sleep b...

Everything I Know & Feel as of Right Now I know things have been spiraling out of control lately but please let me stay and help you fix the damages that I've caused. I never meant to cause you the damages that have happened. I didn't realize me being myself had been so confusing for you. I thought if I had stayed true to myself that you would have loved me more but turns out it's the complete opposite of that. I didn't realize my doings had such a negative effect on you and our relationship. I never knew it was hurting you this bad. I thought if I was just open and honest with everything that went on that things would have been easy for us. But turns out I was only doing those things because I was trying to gain your trust back even though I thought it was still there. I thought I was doing everything right from the jump and making sure zero mistakes were being made from my side of things. But turns out I was only making it more confusing for you. I wasn't sure...

I Don't Wanna Leave It might seem like love is testing us and seeing who will fall first but I know from experience that I'm always the last to leave. So when you tell me things like I'm just going to leave and find someone better I end up getting angry with you because what you just said was all lies and I hate lies being told to me. So stop saying shit you don't mean or know anything about. I've told you time after time that you're the one I want and I'll make it known to whoever ask's about you and I/us. I don't wanna leave and I don't care to hurt you because hurting you only hurts me in the end and I promised myself I wouldn't do that to myself anymore. So please let's just keep the love we have and never question my loyalty for you. I'll do whatever it takes to make us last and keep us from fighting. I know things seem like a battle sometimes but knowing we got through it all is all that matters. I don't know how, when, or w...

All I Think About is You To say that there’s no future with you is a lie and I hate lies so why does it feel like all of this chemistry between us is pointless? I can’t tell you the number of times I cried wishing you were next to me hugging me at my lowest points! I can’t imagine a life without you and I know there’s plenty of time to do things with you but right now I just wanna hold on to what we have and love you unconditionally and just have you forever in my arms!! I don’t need to find someone else when all you do is bring me peace and clarity!! I love everything about you and there's nothing you can say or do that will ever make me change my mind about you!! I can’t help but get emotional when things go wrong because I just want the best for you and when shit hits the fan I go numb asking myself where it all went wrong!! I love you so damn much I’ll do anything to make you smile and have you be happy and stress-free! I don’t care how many people try and stop me from loving y...

Breaking Hearts is All I Know I guess it’s true about what they say! But I had to go and learn the hard way! I thought I was ready for it all but it looks like it’s just not meant for me! I wanted to look the other way and prove them wrong but turns out it’s just not that easy! I thought I could make things work and make things right but turns out that’s just not what I’m for! I thought I could love and care for someone but all I did was end up hurting them and I hated every minute of it! Knowing I couldn’t stop myself from doing all the harm I caused unless I walked away! I thought if I just gave it my all that things would change but they just kept on getting worse and for what I don’t know! All I know is that I’m damaged goods and not meant for anyone to love! So I do what I want with my finger to the sky and just let it all come crashing down! I held my head up high for so long just to feel dead inside! I thought if I took things slow and steady that things would fall into place bu...

Just My Thoughts Feels like every day it’s always something new and I just can’t keep up! I’m doing the best I can to not overthink but then you go and say some shit that makes me overthink shit anyways! I keep my cool and tell myself it’s all just lies so I wouldn’t have to go through with it knowing it’s how it is! I don’t care to open up to you anymore or feel the need to speak to you ever again! It feels like I’m wasting my time and yours by doing this and by staying with you! You seem to have way more options than you’re leading with and it’s fine that you do because I also keep my options open just in case shit doesn’t work out! But with you, it’s like you’re contacting your options and leading them on while you’re with me which is hard for me to understand bc you’re the only one I talk to and wanna be with so for you to do that it just makes me feel like shit! I don’t tell you the things I do or say bc there’s no reason to! I keep you updated when I’m with others but other than ...

I'm Not Going Anywhere I’m trying my best to do everything right without making any mistakes but sometimes I feel like me doing that I’m only causing a rift between the two of us! I’m not thinking clearly so things get jumbled around and I’m not sure what's what! I thought that I could just be me but that was a big mistake! I’m too nonchalant and when it comes to being in a relationship I have to be less nonchalant and understanding with everything that’s being said and done to me!  I don’t wish to make it seem like I don’t care about you or just say shit just to say it so you’d stop asking questions because it’s just what you wanna hear and not something I’m feeling/wanting to say! It’s just how I’ve always been and I know that’s not right but I’m learning as I’m getting to know you better and all the things you like and don’t like. I’m learning how to be more patient and learning how to not overthink things just because it doesn’t add up at the moment! I’m learning to have mo...

I'm Just Confused I guess it’s whatever at this point because I don't think us being together is an option anymore. I just don’t understand why I’m being treated like this!! I don’t know who I am or what it is u want me to be for you! I thought we were good and no bullshit was needed but I guess I was wrong! U lie u cheat! It’s all been done before! But you went and played along as if it didn’t matter to me when you meant everything to me! You hurt me in ways that I don’t care to talk about bc I know u won’t care! I go silent at my worst moments bc I’m scared of losing u! I try to distance myself but u take it as a joke! I say one thing but u end up saying another! I can’t tell if it’s me and you or if it's me against the rest of your exes and side hoes! I don’t wanna ever feel like I’m being played or in a competition to see who’s better bc I always have low self-esteem and, to be honest, I say just let them have y for whoever they are / might be! I don’t care to play this...

Things are Good & Well Between Us I feel like there's not much to say at this point because all of my bad thoughts and me having to second guess shit is finally done with when it comes to you which I'm so thankful for. You finally explained it to me in a way where I don't have to worry about this and that when everything I know and need to know has already been proven and answered for me. I'm good with just kicking back and letting shit be between us two how they are and if we ever wanna make it more we always can. I'm down for whatever with you and I'll always be there for you. I'm not planning on self-sabotaging us and the relationship that we have. I want this to work more than you'll ever know. I'm willing to give it my all and open the doors that I've kept shut from the outside world. I want you to know that I'm in it for the long run and I know we planned out a lot of things already but for now let's just focus on what we can do...

I'm Sorry I Couldn't Be Better for You This is dedicated to the who means everything to me, so I apologize in advance if this doesn't make sense to those unaware of the situation. I know things were going so well and it felt like a dream come true for the both of us, but then things ended up getting way too confusing and seemed like non-stop back-and-forth arguments about this and that when it's really no big deal. It's just life and I have to move on with it. I think if I just took a minute to breathe and accept the fact that you can actually love me the way that you say, I wouldn't have to overthink so much about your past and all the things that have happened. I wish we could be together face to face on a daily and not so far apart. I wish things could be so much more between us but then again I feel like we rushed into it like you said and things are just now starting to unfold which sucks but it has to be done so we can figure out if it's worth the figh...