Mak

Trying to Forget About What's Her Name! I understand you and I haven’t been on the best of terms when it comes to us being together but the drugs and pain haven’t changed anything about the things I feel or do when it comes to you! I still get sad every time I think of you and when I lock eyes with you I feel completely numb not knowing how to talk to you when you’re around! I still shy away from speaking to you knowing that’s all you want me to do but I just can’t help but think you still hate me for all the damage I’ve done! It’s understandable but I’m not ready to call you the one I let get away knowing that’s what it’s coming to! I wish I could stay and erase the pain but that’s highly unlikely right about now because we’ve already gone through the phases of back and forth knowing we can’t keep doing this!  It’s just crazy how much history we have. Looking back at what we had to have it be over, it just doesn’t sit right with me! I keep thinking there’s gotta be another way for...

Leave Me Alone This has nothing to do with you it’s just something I’ve gotta work out on my own knowing there’s no looking back at it once it’s done! I just want this to be for me and me only but yet part of me can’t make it all towards me when you were involved in the feelings I was having! So I’m trying my best not to worry about these feelings I’m having right now so instead I worry about the thought of losing you knowing you’re the only one who gets me from the anti-social behavior to the laughing til I’m crying on the bathroom floor! It’s hard going through life-changing events when the feelings I’ve had for you since day one are slowly starting to fade into the void not knowing what’s next to come! I sit back and let you do you and let you reach out when you’re ready only to feel a sense of loneliness every time! You text me saying that you need me but I see you with that other guy and my is telling me that I’m no longer needed so I walk the other way and hope to never see you a...

Something About Your Eyes & Smile Has Me Wanting to Be Yours Yeah, I get it the title is long and straight to the point but anyways, besides all that! There’s this person who’s so damn fine I just can’t get them out of my head and as much as try they keep reappearing making me want to go out of my way and make a move on them! I just know if I make a move or peep the slightest hint of me liking them more than a friend then I’ll lose them all together! So instead I ball up all my feelings and go about my life without a single thought about them even though it’s breaking my heart piece by piece! I can’t help but find this person to be an angel sent from heaven the way they move and talk makes me feel as if they’re from another planet! Everything about them is so beautiful and perfect that it’s hard to find a single flaw about them and even if there was a flaw or two about them then I’d love them either way! There’s no telling where they came from or who sent them to me but I’m very gr...

Left a Mark Just to Leave Me Feeling All Alone I know this is going to make zero sense since I’ve only mentioned this person to my best friend, but hopefully, it all makes sense eventually because the way I feel about them is something I’ve only felt once in my life. Now that I see and feel the things I feel with this person, I think it’s best if I just let it out and not talk about it anymore!  I feel like I got too close to this person and it’s my fault for thinking we could be friends and acting as if I’m fine with just being friends but when I look at you I feel so many things knowing I can’t act on the things I feel because it would only make things worse for me and I’m not trying to feel that way right now! I just want to conclude that what we have right now will only be what it is right now and nothing more! So in the meantime, I’ll go ahead and cry and yell to my friend all I want about this and that but it’s not going to change the way I feel towards you! I can deny the fe...

I'm not Trying to Be a Bother to You or Anyone Else I know it’s not my place to talk about our past and the battles we lost but there’s just a lot to process when it comes to you and me! I was young and dumb when it came to you and I thought my best was all it took to get things right but in reality, it was much more than that! I was only concerned for what was best for myself at the time and never for you and I take full responsibility for my actions that caused you pain without me even knowing it! I thought you were just being dramatic and looking for attention when in reality the pain you were feeling was completely valid I was just too dumb to take the time to understand it from your point of view! I was only looking for the next best thing when it came to us and the pain and suffering never seemed to cross my mind! I knew if I had acknowledged the bad then my mind would feel the sadness and pain that was happening and prevent me from doing my own thing!  I wanted to take a ste...

Why Do You Lie to Me Not trying to be that guy but this shit gotta stop. We talk and things are good only to run shit back and realize it was all a lie. I text you back only to realize the shit I'm bout to ask makes me look like I'm asking something stupid when it's just something I need to know about so I'm not stuck having to wonder about it all day and night. It's upsetting having to sit in front of you knowing there's something that needs to be asked only to hold it in and just forget all about it so I don't upset you. It's not fair having to know something that you think I don't know about. It makes me wonder if anything that you ever told was ever true or if it was all just for show so I would stay by your side. The things you do are so well hidden it's hard to tell if it's even worth trying to find out the things you do. I want to be part of your world but when you go and shut me out it's hard to tell if you and I are even meant to...

Never Knew a Minor Change Would Hurt This Bad I get we didn't know each other very long but the thought of you leaving and doing your own things hurt like hell. I thought of all the things we did only to realize it would all stop and nothing more would come out of us. The blame game was all too real to let anything else slide that we just lost control in the process and as much as I tried to hold on to the feelings we had they were just gone. I did all I could to save myself from the pain you brought my way only to realize that pain was all I was missing. All we ever did was go back and forth on letting one another go only to see what we were missing and go back and forth with the feelings only to come back and figure shit out only to repeat the cycle once more and even though that shit hurt like hell. It was worth it in the end. I used to call you day and night to make sure you were safe and well only to hear your voice telling me how much you hate the shit they do to you. So I co...

You're All I See When I Close My Eyes I guess this is where things start making sense since you're the talk of the town when it comes to me now. This is kind of crazy because we don't even really do much but cross paths with one another every few weeks only to give each other the side eye wishing things could be different between us. But instead, we keep pushing ourselves deeper and deeper into a hole that'll soon be filled with the things we never said to one another. I looked your way only to think about how things should be between us two but then my friends told me that you're no good for me only to go find out for myself to see how bad you really are towards me. I predicted that it was all just lies to keep me away from you but once I reached out to you and got a taste of what you were all about I could see it in your eyes that the things they were saying and warning me about were all true and it hurts thinking that I told myself they were all lies to begin wit...

I Miss the Old You You know where this is going so why act like you don’t understand the shit I explained to you over the phone? You keep trying to act as if it’s nothing when it’s something that matters to me the most! You keep pretending as if things are good between us two but then again you’re going behind my back to do some slick shit and then proceed to go off on me as if I’m in the wrong when I ask you about your whereabouts!! Which is fine if that’s what makes you feel secure and good about yourself but don’t expect me to sit here and make it seem like what you’re doing will make me stay! You wanna keep me around only to break me when I’m just trying to get through to you! I have a lot of love for you but sitting here thinking bout the damage and the cost it’s going to take to repair it’s making me feel like I should love you less and move on with my own doings from you! You keep asking what it is I wanna do only to figure out how to come to my senses and tell you nothing when ...

I Didn't Mean to Cry When Talking with You Honestly, I don’t even know what caused me to feel the things I felt when it came to you! I was chilling vibing having a good time only to look your way and feel some type of way not knowing how to make those feelings come to light! I kept second-guessing my doings only to start making my point across to you while having tears come down my face not knowing what the hell just happened! I was so confused as to what even just happened that I felt so bad for everyone in that room! I walked out to go wash off the tears coming down my face only to come back feeling even sadder because what the actual fuck was that?! I’ve never done this before and knowing this is how it went down was so confusing to me! I wanted to leave and forget about it ever happening but I stayed and tried to keep my head held high but the tears kept falling down and then I started to feel the anxiety coming in and that’s when I knew I had to go!! I never really knew what t...

Lately, I've Been Thinking About... You & the Things I Regret! I know me being gone for 11 years has caused you more pain than I’ll ever know but being away from you this long was never my intention. I thought maybe it would have just been a few weeks to a month! I never expected it to be 11 years! But yet here we are 11 years apart thinking we were so perfect together only to realize there will never be a love like the one we shared! Everything just flowed so effortlessly that there was no need to think about the things we did and said! I miss everything about you even the small things about you! I never knew missing someone over the smallest things could put me in such a feeling I can’t explain!  The love we shared was unlike anything I’ve ever felt and for it to just end the way it did hurt like hell knowing it was my fault for letting you walk away! I thought if I ran and flew to you and asked for your hand again you would have seen how much you meant to me and how much I w...